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Choose Zen
When you are in a difficult situation, your reaction is yours and no one else’s. You own your emotions and you own how you react to them. No other person nor situation in this world makes you act a certain way or say a certain thing. Only you make these decisions. Although oftentimes it might not feel that way…
I’ve been in ruts before, where everything I’ve done felt like a part in a play. As though I had no control over my own emotions and destiny, I’ve followed through on my assigned role. This always left me depressed and angry, thinking I had no control over my own life — no reason to even try anything different since it would all turn out the same. This lack of power is a curse I wish on no one, yet most people in this world have felt this powerlessness at one point or another (or they know of no other way to live and live this every day).
When I’m in a quandary, as we all often are, I ask myself, “Which would be the better emotion?” Sometimes the best of two choices is anger, sometimes sadness. Oftentimes, however, I’ve found that joy or some other measure of happiness was actually a choice. Stewing and brooding or feeling sorry for myself are usually the worse choice, so I try not to choose them. This serves me well in my parenting. If a child of mine (or a child that I happen to be around) does something that could be deemed annoying by society, I often blink, take a deep breath, then CHOOSE to enjoy the innocence and sweetness of that child’s discovery (smiling helps a lot). There rarely is mal-intent in a child, so I find the goodness and go with the flow of happiness. It is amazing how quickly a potentially difficult situation can turn into a tightening of bonds with a simple change in attitude from the adults.
Please enjoy your children today and every day! If they play with their new gifts in ways you might not approve, remember that a gift is only the property of the givers until it is given. From the moment you hand over a present, you are no longer in control of how it is used. Relinquish that control; it is freeing! The gift now belongs to the receiver and they can choose to use it (or not use it) in ways you might never have dreamed. This has empowered me as a gift giver! It’s also helped me to pay attention to what the receiver actually does with my presents (other than their intended uses), then hone in on their true desires for future gift giving situations. It allows me to know that person better, which, ultimately (combined with bringing joy into the recipient’s life) is my desire in gift giving.
When in doubt, CHOOSE ZEN!
Related Articles:
- How to Not Be Endearing; How to Choose a Mate
- Be an ACTIVE Participant in Your Children’s Lives
- What is YOUR Goal for Your Kids?
- 12; Twelve; A WHOLE Dozen
- How do I choose what to recommend?
