12; Twelve; A WHOLE Dozen
My oldest child turns twelve today. As birthdays and anniversaries often do, I’ve been contemplating the years and what they’ve meant to me. It’s true what they say about a parent with young children: The days are long, but the years are short.
There are full days that felt like years, and lately, the years have felt like days. I could list a thousand things that are great about my children and I wouldn’t have even tapped the surface. Yet, what has surprised me so much about my daughters is how much *I* have grown because of them.
Here are 12 random things I have learned because of my oldest daughter:
- Breast is best! Breastfeeding is by far the very best way to feed a baby, a toddler, and a young child. Because my daughter insisted on extended breastfeeding, she gained health and emotional benefits I could never have imagined. Natural weaning comes when the child is ready, allowing them to not become dependent on things we don’t want them to become dependent on.
- Rest doesn’t have to come in 8 hour intervals in order to be enough, yet good quality mattresses and chairs are extremely important.
- Attachment parenting is the only way to go for the early years, then it should extend into mindful parenting (the precursor to Unschooling). Children need their parents to be fully involved in their lives 24 hours a day until they, personally, start making steps away (and they will!). Babies and children left to their own devices never fair as well as those who have parents who are present.
- There are many different ways to look at any given situation. There isn’t necessarily a right and a wrong. Yet, sometimes there is when no one else realizes it. I know this sounds contrary, but it’s not. My daughter has helped me look at life in different ways than I could have ever imagined. Yet, she’s also shown me that staying firm on values and principals is the only way to live a morally respectable life. It’s the only way to be proud of yourself, which is ultimately all that matters.
- Education doesn’t equal learning. Schooling does not equal education. Real learning comes all the time in real life.
- Got an interest? Follow it. NOW! You won’t regret it. This is the heart of Unschooling (which my oldest daughter helped me discover); it’s changed our world forever.
- Clocks aren’t important. When a person is hungry, they should eat. When a person is tired, they should sleep. When a person isn’t following their body, their soul suffers.
- Follow bliss. Wear only comfortable clothing (and shoes). Have only easy maintenance haircuts. Everyone is born with their own unique personalities. If those personalities aren’t honored, it is called stifling and is very wrong. Learning how to respect others’ personalities is important, and often hard.
- It’s more important to follow what you know is right in your heart, than what others are doing - especially when others are full of justifications (and so-called experts). You don’t need a degree to become an expert on a topic and if you have a degree on a specific topic you are often the least knowledgeable about it (and out-of-date on the “facts” you supposedly know). Experts often become complacent, while those who are passionate about a topic are current and know the details (without worrying about fulfilling course requirements).
- Celebrating is important. Always have a party up your sleeve, even if it is only to celebrate a new haircut or a day with (or without) rain and even if you are the only one in attendance. Every day should be a celebration of life! Make sure you laugh every day.
- Be at peace. If you aren’t, drop everything until you are. Learn if you are an introvert or an extrovert and honor it.
- There is no relationship more amazing than that of a parent and child. To go from loving a little baby completely, to having adult conversations with a nearly grown child - well, it’s amazing. My daughter and I talk philosophy, plotting, planning, and more, with no forbidden or uninteresting topics.
There is no single person who has changed me more drastically than Zoë. I’m thankful every day for what she has brought to my life. I look forward to seeing what else she helps me learn over the years to come.
Related Articles:
- Top 10: Reasons Why I’m Glad We Unschool
- What is YOUR Goal for Your Kids?
- REVIEW: Steve Pavlina’s “Personal Development for SMART PEOPLE”
- Top 10: Reasons Why I’m THANKFUL We Discovered Unschooling
- I won’t pick the chicken out of the chicken noodle soup




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