Homeschool Fiction

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DoLifeRight: Tell me a bit about yourself and your family (name, children’s ages, where you live, etc.):

Sara: I’m Sara, mom to three unschooling daughters, ages 6, 4, and 8 months. I work at home writing freelance articles for several online publications and sometimes doing transcription work. During the week, the kids play, take classes from the local art and dance centers, and participate in activities with local homeschooling groups. On the weekends, we head out as a family to explore the surrounding area and visit popular parks, zoos, museums, and so on.

DoLifeRight: How long have you homeschooled your children? Do you consider your family an unschooling family? What does this mean for your family?

Sara: We’ve always homeschooled. When people ask, I just call us homeschoolers, but our style is unschooling. We do schooly stuff when we want, but we don’t follow a curriculum. We follow our interests. I periodically go over the national standards for my own information and for ideas on topics to introduce to my kids.

DoLifeRight: Did you plan to homeschool your children before you actually had children? What is your own educational background?

Sara: I decided to homeschool when my first child was two years old. I started researching preschools and early education methods and knew that homeschooling appealed most to me. I would have loved to have homeschooled as a child and I wanted to give that option to my children. I was an honors student right up until I dropped out of high school after my sophomore year. I was bored and ready to move on with my life. I took the GED equivalency and started college at seventeen. All my honors friends were jealous. I was on the Dean’s List before they graduated high school and the work I was doing in school appealed to me in a much more personally motivated way than what I had left behind in high school.

DoLifeRight: Why did you decide to not send your children to school? What research did you do to make this decision? Were there any books, magazines, or websites you would recommend new parents (or parents who are new to homeschooling) read?

Sara: John Holt and John Taylor Gatto’s books were the biggest sellers for me. Also, the idea of a free schedule appealed to me. I liked the idea of using the world as our classroom, learning all the time, and learning as we live.

DoLifeRight: Did you consider yourself an “Attachment Parent” when your children were infants? How did this (or didn’t this) affect your choice to unschool/homeschool your children?

Sara: I definitely identified as an attachment parent. My first exposure to a natural, responsive style of parenting was Jean Liedloff’s book, The Continuum Concept, which caused me to feel a little sad that I did not live in a family supportive culture. I used the “attachment parenting” practices to do my best in the limited-support nuclear family set up, and ultimately followed my intuition and went with what felt right in any given situation regardless of cultural conventions. Getting into the habit of following my intuition made it easy for me to confidently make the choice to homeschool. Homeschooling/unschooling felt like a natural extension of the way my family had been living.

DoLifeRight: What specific benefits to your children (or family as a whole) have you actually seen since you became unschoolers/homeschoolers?

Sara: My kids direct themselves, attempt to solve their own problems, and show in many ways how their confidence, independent thinking, and creativity continues to grow. I love to see how happy they are when they figure something out or learn something new. They are excited about their interests and activities. They each have their own styles and their own interests. I love to watch these unique individuals emerging.

DoLifeRight: Do you have a regular schedule in your life? How does this work with outside commitments and responsibilities?

Sara: We don’t follow a schedule, other than a couple of clubs and classes, but we have settled into somewhat of a routine. I purposely enroll in midday or afternoon classes so we won’t ever need to rush to get out of bed in the morning.

DoLifeRight: How important have support groups been for you? Do you have online ones, in person ones, or a mixture? Please list any you want to share.

Sara: We are members of a couple of local homeschool groups. These are important for the kids to meet other homeschoolers and to see and appreciate the diversity that exists in how families live. They are important for me to feel less alone in the unconventional way of life I have chosen.

DoLifeRight: What resources do you use for your children’s “educations”? Feel free to comment on the word “education”.

Sara: My kids love workbooks, encyclopedias, stories, videos and computer games, magazines, documentaries, etc. We enjoy anything that appeals.

DoLifeRight: How did your friends and families react when you told them your children wouldn’t be going to school? Have their opinions changed over the years?

Sara: My mother was supportive. She typically is supportive of anything I do. She homeschooled my sister for a time and saw how she excelled outside the school setting. Other family members ranged from apprehensive to disapproving. My grandma wasn’t sure about the idea, but she is now very impressed with my children and has commented positively on the way we live.

DoLifeRight: What have been the benefits (unexpected and expected) to homeschooling?

Sara: My kids relate to me in a friendly, casual way. We’re all very comfortable and easy-going with one another. We know one another well and have developed a close bond. I think my kids have good self-awareness and comfortable identities. They have plenty of time for self-reflection and space to take their time entering new activities and situations, such as starting a new dance class. Nothing is forced so they gradually develop confidence.

DoLifeRight: How does your family make money? Do you have a job? Full-time or part-time or something in between? Can you tell us about your choices and how you made these decisions?

Sara: I write freelance articles and sometimes do transcription jobs. My husband works full-time as our primary income earner. We moved to an area where he could earn more so this would be possible.

DoLifeRight: How have *you* personally grown since you started unschooling/homeschooling your children? How has your relationship with your spouse/partner grown?

Sara: I’ve gotten much more patient and learned to see what is truly important to me regardless of cultural shoulds and should nots. I want my children to live happy lives.

DoLifeRight: Are you able to find time to have your own hobbies, interests, and friends? Beyond your children (of course), what are your interests?

Sara: I write, read, hike, sew. I began re-learning how to use my time when I had my first baby. I had been one to dive into projects and not come out until I had finished. I’ve had to change my pattern. I decided early on that I would find a way to live with my children, do the things I want to do with them. Now, for example, I’m answering these questions about something that matters to me while my baby sleeps on my lap, my oldest daughter is using her computer in the other room, and I can hear my middle daughter singing, which means she’s playing an imaginative game with her toys. We have a small enough house that I can hear the children while I work. We’ve all developed routines around our typical activities. On rare occasions when I want time to myself, the children are all very fond of spending time with their dad.

DoLifeRight: How do you respond to other people’s questions about the following: completeness of education, socialization, college plans, etc.? Do you give different answers to different people? Why?

Sara: I’m comfortable enough with what we are doing that I don’t worry too much about what other people think. In my experience, the people who tend to pose the questions are actually challenging my choices and looking for an argument. I don’t feel the need to change anyone’s mind.

My mother and grandmother seem interested in hearing about my choices, so I sometimes share my thoughts with them about socialization and academic achievement. I share my thoughts, but I don’t want to argue.

DoLifeRight: If you have more than one child, how do you handle their different interests and desires? If you have one child, how do you handle his/her desires to be with other children? How do you reconcile these interests with your own?

Sara: I have three daughters. We do some activities together and others one-on-one. I haven’t had any trouble focusing on one child with the others around. My four-year-old loves to pay attention to what her six-year-old sister and I are talking about. The baby loves being around the older two. We can all do our own thing together.

DoLifeRight: What are the biggest issues you are currently having, or have ever had in regards to parenting and/or homeschooling/unschooling?

Sara: Since I have always homeschooled my kids, I don’t have any expectations about time without them. The only issue would be coping emotionally with other people’s doubts and negative comments, especially the ones said in front of the children.

DoLifeRight: Any regrets? We want to hear the good and the bad! This is the best way to make informed decisions.

Sara: I love unschooling. I don’t have any complaints with this way of life.

DoLifeRight: Do you have any websites, yahoo lists, etc. that you run or maintain? Please list them here with descriptions.

Sara: Seattle Homeschooling for Beginners Examiner
Articles and event listings for homeschoolers in the Seattle area.

Unschooling and Whole Life Learning
A collection of links and resources for radical unschoolers.

DoLifeRight: Any last thoughts or advice for DoLifeRight’s readers?

Sara: Follow your heart in everything. Do what feels good.

Related Articles:

• 20 Unschooling Questions: Lisa Russell from WA, USA
• Be Questioned: 20 Questions for Unschoolers
• 20 Unschooling Questions: Candy from Atlanta, GA, USA
• 20 Unschooling Questions: Idzie from Montreal, QC, Canada
• 20 Unschooling Questions: Kara from Somers Point, NJ

By: Lisa