Exactly Where I Need to Be

My older daughter and I had the good fortune to see Amy Steinberg in concert this week. How a woman with such a soulful and spirited voice isn't hugely popular is beyond me. After the show we stood in line to get Amy's autograph on our CDs. I also brought along my camera, hoping for a photo like the one above of Amy, me, my daughter. Amy knew without being told that we were friends with AnneO and part of the Shine with Unschooling list. I guess our sparkle was too shiny to not be noticed. :) Or, maybe it was my "Incredibly Loved" shirt?

I asked for the photo and Amy asked the closest stranger to take the photo for us. What a nice surprise it was for us to find that the stranger wasn't a stranger at all, but rather our amazing and wonderful hairstylist, Jennifer Andrews. Amy happened to be on the lookout for a someone that could give her a good haircut. The two made plans to get together the next day. I'm sure she now has the best hair cut that she's ever had.

Find music you like and support the artist! Big names aren't necessarily better than what you'll find locally (or at least on a smaller level). We've found another concert (KT Tunstall, the Indigo Girls, Brandi Carlile and Ingrid Michaelson at ONE event!) to go to in December and we can't wait.

"I'd Unschool my children if only..."

I receive this comment a lot:

"I'd Unschool my children if only [they were more motivated, weren't special needs, wouldn't sit in front of the television all day long]." The list of excuses goes on and on, with the most popular one lately being "ADD". The fact remains that if you have a child that is special in any way (and I believe that all people are if you look closely enough; have you checked yourself against these various "special" lists?), they are in even greater need of being an Unschooled child and living an Unschooling lifestyle. I've seen children's lives saved with Unschooling.

Do you really believe that your child wouldn't learn how to do anything unless you or someone else forced them to learn it? Evolution proves this to be incorrect. If we weren't born with an innate desire to learn, our species would have died out a long time ago. Children today do not necessarily need (or want) to learn the skills of our ancestors, but they do want to learn how to live in our present society. Why wouldn't they? If for some freak reason (e.g. a meteor wiped out 1/2 the world) computer skills weren't needed in the future, the survivors would learn how to survive in that world! Humans are built to learn.

Here are some great resources for people that don't believe that their child can fit the mold of a typical Unschooler (and for those that don't believe they can Unschool due to special circumstances):

• Homeschooling the Child with ADD (or Other Special Needs): Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the Child with Learning Differences by Lenore Colacion Hayes
• Shine with Unschooling Yahoo list
• Sandra Dodd's webpage on "Unschooling and Special Needs" -- this site has a LOT of useful Unschooling information
• Life Without School's "Special Needs Information"
  

Still have a babe in arms, or new to the concept of an alternative way of living? You may find The Highly Sensitive Person site to be a helpful start on your exciting journey. Here are some additional parenting resources. Don't think of your child as "special needs", think of them as a whole and complete person with unique needs. You need not look further than Unschooling to help dramatically with a wide variety of diagnoses that are not relevant in the real non-school world (such as ADD, ADHD, and Asperger's, just to name a few).

One of the absolutely fabulously great and wonderful things about Unschoolers is that there is NO "typical Unschooler". We are all unique individuals with unique goals and desires. The one thing we all do have in common is that we are all authentic. Celebrate your child for the unique individual she is! Celebrate yourself for the unique individual you are! There is only one YOU.

Homeschooling and Unschooling Myths

My favorite homeschooling myth is the one about socialization (although the math one is a close second). The fact of the matter is that the homeschooled and Unschooled children I know are the most socially capable children I've ever met (and, yes, I very distinctly remember being a child). These bright children know how to hold conversations with infants, agemates, other parents, and 85 year olds alike. They have no problem finding common interests (or at least sharing theirs to start conversations) in order to communicate effectively.

I will admit that there are introverted Unschoolers (probably even in the same percentages as society at large). They do, however, know how (within the realm of being a child) to handle social situations. OTOH, every schooled child over the age of 9 that I have met in the past few years has had huge difficulties holding even a trivial conversation with me on any topic -- the usual gut reaction of the child is to ignore that I exist since I'm an "adult" and adults seem to be off limits to all "cool kids". I've never had this happen in homeschooling circles, even with "shy" children. How better to learn how to live in society than to spend your time IN society? School is not real life, the world as a whole is. As my children's SDH t-shirts say, "The World is My Classroom."

• Here is my favorite "What About Socialization?" conversation that succinctly sums up the difference in approach.
• Here is Secular Homeschooling Magazine's extremely funny take on the topic of homeschooling myths in a wry article titled, "The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List" (although I respectfully disagree with #19 since I don't boss my kids around on any topic).
• Joyfully Rejoycing on Socialization (check out the WHOLE site)
  

Like the above comic? Visit Inflatable Studios to see more of Jason Holm's spot-on homeschooling comics.

Vegan Athletes -- No Meat Necessary

To be strong, as well as healthy, a proper diet is important. Today's athletes should know this more than anyone. They want their bodies to perform at their highest potential; they want to be their ultimate best. The best diet possible for a professional athlete in any sport, professional firefighter, amateur athlete, or even us regular every day dabbling athletes, is a conscious vegan diet.

Carl Lewis, world class Olympic athlete, became a vegan in 1990. My favorite quote from him is, "I ate no dairy products. And I had my best year as an athlete ever!" Of course, there is more to his success than merely cutting out dairy. He also cut out meats and eggs (and continued his training). Mr. Lewis had met Dr. McDougall and McDougall convinced him to change his diet to a lowfat vegan diet.

Check out these sites for more information on how you can become faster, leaner, stronger, more agile, and more fit just by changing your diet:

• Dr. McDougall's "Building Your Own High-Performance Athletic Body"
• PCRM's "How Will a Vegetarian Diet Affect My Athletic Performance?"
  
• Vegan Athlete
• Vegan Bodybuilding & Fitness
  
• Brendan Brazier's (vegan triathlete), "Ask the Vegan Athlete"
  
• Toronto Vegetarian Association's articles on vegetarian athletes
• Team Vegan (vegan cycling team)
  

Be Joe

There are certain days in my life that stand out strong in my memory. One of these days is the first time I saw Joe Versus the Volcano. This Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan classic is one of my family's all time favorites. It is inspirational in ways that few other movies or books are. It's not sad, sappy, or cruel. It has so many quotable lines that we often find ourselves saying lines from this movie and randomly singing lines from some of the songs. Joe's circumstances show us how any ordinary person can pick up their life and become the best that they can be (much like Do Life Right's mission statement). All anyone has to do is decide to have the life they want. Everything we ever need and want is available to us, we just have to believe it and grab it.

If you want to be reminded to WAKE UP and LIVE NOW, Joe Versus the Volcano is the movie for you. Whenever we're feeling like life is rough, or otherwise needing inspiration, we pull out this movie and become Joe for a while.

Pleasure Writing -- The World of Fiction

Today is day 3 in the somewhat famous NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) experience. The goal of each participant is to write a minimum of 50,000 words (a novella) in the 30 days of November. This is my fifth year of participating and the second year that I've gotten a very late start (I haven't written a single word of fiction yet this month...). I do, however, intend to finish a rough manuscript before the end of the month.

Concerned how this can work? Check out Chris Baty's (the founder of NaNoWriMo) book: No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days.

I spent the day at a writer's workshop, sponsored by RWA-Tucson, called "Discovering Story Magic". While the group was large (and the dynamic of the group discussion period would have been a lot more fun with less people), there was a lot of fantastic information passed along. If you have the opportunity to attend this workshop, I do recommend it. Our wonderfully special RWA chapter apparently came to a unique conclusion that none of the other "Discovering Story Magic" workshops have ever come to before. No spoilers from me. :)

If you have any desire to become a fiction writer, events such as NaNoWriMo are a fantastic way to get the momentum started. You might not come away with a best-seller at the end of the month, but you'll certainly be one step closer. Try participating in NaNoEdMo in March to edit your November masterpiece in a one month time period. A mere 50 hours counts as completion in this event, although most writers need significantly more to completely edit a novel.

Prefer writing a screenplay in a month? Check out Script Frenzy next June. This event has participants writing a 20,000 word screenplay in the one month time period. I've yet to participate in this, but I plan to at some point.

Think these are doable events? Feeling inspired? If you think you have it in you, you do. Have fun writing.

Day-to-Day Unschooling

I'm often asked what my family does day in and day out as Unschoolers. I always pause before answering this question in order to determine what the questioner is actually asking. The thing is, there is no "typical day" in the life of this Unschooling family (or any that we've met). We don't wake up or go to sleep at a regular time, we don't sit at the kitchen table and "do school work" -- ever. We have weekly activities that we are involved in, but we don't require our children to go to those if they choose not to, either (they always do attend though, unless we are going out of town). Our children have very flexible lives and we all highly enjoy the freedom of unscheduled learning.

When a friend or family member asks me this question, I know that what they really want to know is what we've been up to lately, what we do for fun, what interests us, etc. So, I share all the fun things we've been doing. I tell them about the activities we've done, the science experiments, the art projects, the hiking, the outings, the important aspects of our lives. I share the fun of what it is like to be us. I enjoy telling people about this!

When a potential future Unschooling family asks me the "typical day" question, I like to refer them to Sandra Dodd's website, my own Do Life Right site, or a place like Unschooling Voices. As every child learns differently, every family has a different dynamic. When I was new to Unschooling, I highly enjoyed reading about the day-to-day living of other families. It helped me realize that we needed to follow our own rhythm. Thus, I encourage others to do the same.

Enjoy finding your own beat!

Wonder Falling

Ever notice the intense wonder in a young child's eyes? Wonder why the older children and adults you meet don't have it any more? I've spent a lot of time wondering about this very thing. When my first daughter was a baby, I wanted her to keep this sense of pure amazement as long as possible. I didn't ever want her to lose it. I loved that wide-eyed look of pure joy in her eyes. I wanted it, too.

My kids still have this wonderment and I'm gaining it again -- more and more every day. The conscious decision to not let it disappear has helped stop me in my tracks every time I've almost taken some of it away from my children.

I believe, and it has been shown to me many times, that well meaning parents and teachers are to blame for knocking this wonderment about life out of their children. Every time a parent or teacher teaches a child a "life lesson", sparkles of joy leave that person -- usually for ever. These "life lessons" are almost unequivocally never taught to people in any other way. What I mean by this is that these lessons aren't real life and in real life, they aren't found. If, perchance, they are -- the person living it will certainly learn the "lesson" very quickly. It need not have ever been taught. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty for your past behavior. I'm saying this in order to give you hope that all happiness can be regained if you desire it to be!

I love this quote from Radical Parenting:
"Most of the psychotherapy I have done with people has been to help them get over the damage they suffered from parents/teachers preparing them for life."

It is our obligation to the future generations of this world to be the very best parents we can be. Who cares how you were raised! You still have it in you to be an excellent parent. I believe everyone does. Don't blame the people that raised you for your own failings. Decide to change them now and make a commitment to not pass them to your children. Spankings and put-downs are not hereditary. You have the power to not perpetuate poor parenting.

As an Unschooling Mom, I vowed to never stop appreciating the wonder in my children's eyes. I see it in them every day. Yes, EVERY day. They've given me my spark back -- it is the best gift ever. Sometimes I feel as though I am walking around in a wonderful daze of pure joy. This world is astounding, interesting, and superbly amazing. When was the last time you felt that way? It isn't too late. Try playing with a young child -- on their level -- for a few hours. It is inspiring to become fascinated with every little thing in your surroundings again. Getting lost in the wonder of it all, whilst sharing the time with a child, is one of life's greatest pleasures. Look closely at things. Even the dirt on your floor is pretty interesting up close and personal. Pretend, if you have to, that you've never seen that exact thing ever before. Notice the beauty of it. It doesn't have to be a thing of nature, it could be a plastic toy or a bite of food.

Find your WONDER! Enjoy its peace.

Kitt Peak and Tohono O'odham Diet

My family and I spent yesterday afternoon exploring Kitt Peak and the Tohono O'odham reservation area (just west of Tucson, Arizona). It is GORGEOUS there! This is not to be underrated. It didn't hurt that the weather was perfect (although it usually is with its 300+ sunny days per year), of course, but the photographs of the area in inclement weather proved that it is spectacular then, too.

My children are incredibly interested in space. They were delighted to see the telescopes at Kitt Peak. With 26 huge telescopes in work, we were only able to see a couple up close and personal. I was the most fascinated to find out that there are currently 895 potentially dangerous meteors hurling themselves toward/near the Earth right now. It is amazing what all we can discover about space today. We loved hearing about the process in place for getting time on the telescopes for research. We can't wait to attend one of their overnight sessions that are open to the public (all attendants must now be 9 or older).

As a completely random and happy surprise, we saw a shocking and wonderful billboard in this Indian Nation. It read:
"Diabetes is Preventable"
with subtext stating that a change in diet is all that is necessary to rid people of the disease (I sadly did not get a photograph). I was VERY impressed with the message and the gorgeous vegetables on the sign! The Tohono O'odham people are taking back their health. They've discovered that the people in their nation that have changed from a native diet to a SAD (Standard American Diet) are falling prey to the wide variety of diseases that the rest of America is riddled with. Changing back to a diet high in vegetables, whole grains, and fruit completely reverses the diseases. Diabetes in particular has been proven to be completely preventable amongst the Tohono O'odham people, which is an amazing thing since eating a poor diet causes four times as many Native American people to develop diabetes as in the U.S. population at large. Before this study, between 50 and 75% of the Tohono O'odham people had diabetes. I look forward to hearing the new statistics as dietary changes are sweeping the area.

What is the most surprising to me in all of this information is not that it is true -- it definitely is; what surprises me is that this hasn't become common knowledge. This dietary information should be on the news and in the newspapers. This is the stuff that will change the world! Can you imagine a disease free world, or even just a world free of diabetes? It's a glorious thought.

Think you have to change your diet to a Tohono O'odham native diet of prickly pear pads, chia seeds, tepary bean, and other Sonoran Desert plants? You don't. I live here and I have no idea how to prepare any of these plants (although I'd like to learn). Any lowfat whole foods vegan diet will work in the prevention and reversal of diabetes. Native people around the entire globe have been showing us their healthy diets -- all will work at keeping all people disease free. It isn't until a group of people change their diet to include huge amounts of meat and/or dairy that they develop the killing diseases of today (like heart disease and diabetes). Try one style of food and stick to it only, or mix it up from day to day. You don't have to have a boring, uninteresting, tasteless or difficult diet in order to eat healthy.

Here are a couple of of the many sites that talk more about this tremendous information, with specific information regarding diet and the Tohono O'odham people:
TOCA: Tohono O'odham Community Action
CBS News: 60 Minutes: "Why is America So Fat?"
W.K. Kellogg Foundation: "Fighting Diabetes with Native Foods"

I left the Tohono O'odham Nation with a sense of peace. It is a beautiful nation with amazingly beautiful people that are talented, artistic (their baskets are amazing!), and intelligent. Their culture is strong with a rich and and fascinating history. I can't wait to learn more.

Writing Truth

"If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never be able to write anything that can be read.
If you want to help other people, you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men will condemn."
From Echoing Silence: Thomas Merton on the Vocation of Writing,
Edited by Robert Inchausti.

I've been asked why I am so blunt, why I tell the truth, why I can't handhold people into learning a better way to live. If one cannot be blunt, especially when so well researched, truth rarely comes out. I am honest. I am truthful. Truth can change as perception changes, but honesty never can. I may change my views on everything tomorrow (I'd honestly be shocked if this happened!), but I'd be honest with it and explain the reasoning behind my sudden changes. If I am not completely and utterly honest with my words today, then I wouldn't want anyone to believe anything I say tomorrow -- even if my words become what others want to hear. Life is short, if we don't become better people each and every day, we become stagnate and wilted. If others before me hadn't had the strength to tell me their truths, I wouldn't be where I am today.

I live in a country, the United States of America, that cherishes the idea of free speech. Check out the First Amendment. Our ancestors fought for this privilege, yet thousands are unduly ridiculed and chastised every day due to the words that they say and pen. The founders of my country would be appalled.

I am a writer. I was reminded yesterday that I should write what I know. I know this deep in my soul, yet it is when I bare the most honest truths of my existence and experience, when I open myself up the most with my truthful honesty, it is then that I am condemned the most. I am told that I am not telling the truth, not saying how things really are. There is no other way for me to show my truthfulness than to show the realities of my own life.

Here and in my fiction, I will persevere and continue to tell the truth. I may never be published in the manner that I desire, but I will know that I never faltered from being myself. Ultimately, it is the only gift I have to give this world.

This is me. This is my life. My writing is my truth. Enjoy and may you be empowered to live the best life that you have in you while I live the best life that I have in me. This is me:

"Meanest Mom in the Whole Wide World"

It has come to my attention that there is a rather large group of women in the world that are proud of the fact their children consider them to be the "Meanest Mom in the Whole Wide World". So proud, in fact, that their goal for their children is for them to become mean parents, also. (I've actually heard mothers bragging about this with other mothers!) These women are bigger lizards than the one above. [The one above is actually one of our quite cute friends here in the Sonoran Desert -- no worries about her future, she's a great mom.] Hate me for telling you this, but please love your children and stop bragging about being mean. Your children do hear you say these horrific words.

Please concentrate on being the nicest and most giving and loving parent in the world. Say yes to your children next time they ask to do something you would normally say no to. Do you really consider what they are asking to be dangerous? Then do it with them (even if it isn't dangerous, you should seriously consider doing it with them). Talk about the activity before you do it, while you are doing it, and after you did it. Was it really so horrible? Did your children come to the same conclusions as you? Why? Why not? Did you get to know your child better? Did he get to know you better? Seriously -- Ask yourself these questions! Would you rather that your child do these things behind your back in a sneaky way, or happily with you right there?

Go watch that movie or play that video game right next to your child! You might find that your world expands from the new experience it brings you. I wouldn't be surprised if you get a hug, a kiss, or at least a thank you. If you're lucky, you'll hear, "You are the best Mom ever." And, you'll know you can trust them, since they'll know they can trust you. Trust is the only way to have an open and honest and REAL relationship. Building a trustworthy relationship is totally worth it, too.

My Food Gave Me Headaches

Dr. McDougall is famous for saying, "Sick people take medicine. Healthy people don't take medicine."

I LOVE THIS! It was an epiphany for me the first time I read it. Astounding! Did this mean that I shouldn't be taking regular over the counter headache medicines, as well as vitamins and prescription drugs? Yes. Any and all pills and liquid medicines are drugs. I didn't want to be a sick person any longer. I didn't want to be a person that needed drugs to get by any longer. I wanted to be a healthy person -- then and forever.

The biggest step for becoming a healthy person was changing my diet. I did it as a trial; I was a skeptic. I'd read that minimal results could be seen in a mere three days, and major results could be seen in two to three weeks. I didn't think it would work, but I was desperate to feel good and willing to try just about anything. (I'd already tried dozens of other lifestyle and diet changes over the years. They either minimally improved my health temporarily, or had no visible effect on my health.) After only three days of being dairy-free, I was headache free, acne free, and free from the severe stomach and intestinal woes that had previously plagued me daily since I was very young. I had never, ever before felt so healthy before in my entire life -- ever. It was a shocking surprise!

No doctor in real life (of the dozens that I had went to) had ever told me that my health was directly related to the foods that I consumed. I'd asked, too. I was told time and time again that there was no correlation whatsoever. It wasn't until I was learning how to take back my own health (by doing my own research) that I found out that medical doctors receive less than three hours of nutrition education in their entire schooling (many receive less than one hour). Three hours! I'd already studied for probably a thousand hours or more on nutrition, yet my doctor had less than three behind her? How was this possible?

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine is working on changing this shocking fact. They have created an absolutely amazing book, the "Nutrition Guide for Clinicians" that they are giving out FOR FREE to all medical students in the United States. Contact PCRM for more details on how to support this huge undertaking.

Oh, and my headaches (migraines, actually): they're gone. Dairy was the cause of my migraines! Be forewarned that even the tiniest slightest bit of animal products in your diet can cause severe body reactions such as migraines. Check your foods (even the soy products and cereals); there might be hidden animal ingredients in them. Read here for specific details on how to eliminate migraines from your life. I dream of the day when all people can live the pain free, healthy life, that I believe all people are meant to live.

Talk to Strangers -- I dare you not to

"Don't talk to strangers." I hear the parents at the park telling their children again.

I've never said this phrase to my kids. I have, OTOH, modeled talking to strangers thousands of times. Every new person we meet is a stranger. Every waitress, every pilot, every dance class teacher, every other parent in a playgroup, even every doctor we meet for the first time is a stranger... *YOU* are most likely a stranger to me, yet you just might be a person that comes into my life and stays for a very long time. I'm always on the lookout for interesting people. My kids are always on the lookout for people with common interests. If we see a person in a store looking at an item that we are interested in, one of us just might start talking to that person. If we see a family at a park playing on the playground equipment, we almost always say "hi".

I don't believe in "Stranger Danger". I do, however, believe strongly in modeling communication with other people of all ages in front of my children. Part of that includes knowing to trust your instincts. My children and I honor our gut reactions. We don't stay around people that feel dangerous to us, no matter who they are. They know when to hold my hand and when it is safe to run and play. They trust themselves and they trust me. My husband and I trust them. We model not getting ourselves into dangerous situations (we TALK-TALK-TALK about this -- especially when traveling) and most importantly, we model how to get out of dangerous situations as quickly and efficiently as possible. So far, this has always worked quite well.

I should also mention here that we also have never forced our children to hug, kiss, or otherwise show affection or talk to anyone that they weren't comfortable with. Sure this can cause relatives to have hurt feelings, but I would never sacrifice my children's natural instinctive knowledge by forcing them to hug a friend or relative that they didn't want to hug. Forcing someone to do this is very dangerous and makes children start to not trust themselves. Any adult friend or relative that doesn't understand this doesn't need to be around my children. (I always politely explain this philosophy and rarely have had problems once I've explained our reasoning.)

The key point here is an Unschooling point: Our children have never been in a situation without me, my husband, or someone that we ALL trust completely. Some day, sooner than we'd like, our children will be all grown up and on their own. I strongly believe that they'll have to interact with strangers on a regular basis, probably most days of their lives. I want them to gain the knowledge of how to do this safely and politely before they are out on their own. They might even have to talk with strangers on the telephone! It is good that they are watching us, learning how to talk with people now. I'd hate for them to not learn how to talk to people until they turn 18.

Think I am insane and not "protecting" my children? Try reading Gavin De Becker's "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)" or his "Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence". These books can help parents learn how to relearn how to trust their own natural instincts and how to not squash these instincts out of their children. There is nothing more peaceful than feeling safe.

World Go Vegan Days

In honor of my upcoming birthday (next Sunday, the 28th), I'd like to tell everyone about World Go Vegan Days. If this blog has helped you or annoyed you, please make the commitment to eat a vegan diet from October 26-28th. Telling everyone today should give everyone plenty of time to decide what meals to have for this special event.

Try veganism for a mere three days and see how you feel. You just might be surprised at how much more energy and health you have! Thank you for your support!

Zen Gardening

Here is my family's ~30' labyrinth. We built this for meditating, relaxing, walking (exercise), and for just plain enjoyment. I've always wanted a rock labyrinth. Sometimes we walk as a family, sometimes individually. I believe that everyone needs their own little space (inside or outside) to help allow for a zen filled existence. Whether yours is a garden, a meditation area, or a labyrinth like ours, I hope you get a little corner of the world that is all yours.

Unschoolers and College

Here is a recent comment I received: "Since you Unschool your children, they'll never be able to go to college." The statement behind the statement is: "Your children will never amount to anything."

I realize that these comments are coming from a place of fear on the speaker's part, and even sometimes from a place of genuine concern and love. The fear is unwarranted and the concern is unnecessary. Homeschoolers (and especially Unschoolers) are thriving and successful.

Grown Unschoolers have been proving for years that school was not necessary for them to have healthy, happy, and fulfilled lives in the real world. They've been allowed to live in society for their whole lives (unlike children who are forced to spend hours and hours every day in school -- which is a completely different environment than "the real world") and they have no difficult transition period between adolescence and adulthood unlike their schooled age-mates. I have not met a single unsuccessful grown Unschooler. I can't say the same about schooled adults...

Think that Unschoolers aren't qualified to attend college? Think again. I must state, however, that Unschoolers might not feel the need to receive a traditional college degree in order to feel like a worthy citizen (and their friends and family don't force them to believe this myth, either). They've learned from an early age that learning and education do not necessarily go hand in hand. Living in society proves this to them.

If an Unschooled individual has the desire to attend college, then they'll attend college. It's really that simple. If you want something badly enough, you learn how to do it (which is the whole premise behind Unschooling). If, in fact, you don't want to know how to do it, your heart will never be in it no matter who forces you to go through the motions of "learning it" (and you'll never remember it). People need to WANT to learn about a topic before they actually learn it.

Some resources to begin your researching journey on this topic:

• BestHomeschooling.org's College & Career Information
• The Chronicle of Higher Education's October 12, 2007 article titled "Home-Schooled Students Rise in Supply and Demand"
  
• Sandra Dodd's "College Considerations for Unschoolers"
• Alfie Kohn's "How Not to Get into College: The Preoccupation with Preparation"
  

In my early quizzing of possible colleges and universities for my children (now 11 and 7), I've found many (just about all the ones I've looked into) are actively seeking out homeschooled children. These higher education schools are thrilled and excited about this "new breed" (their words) of young adults that actually want to be attending their classes (and aren't being forced to be there by their parents). The professors are happy to have them since they ask the important questions in class and are searching for the knowledge that the professors are trying to impart. The entrance requirements are easily met by all types of homeschoolers, so I have no worries and neither should other unschooling parents. Our pioneering children know exactly where they need to be, exactly when they need to be there. It might not be the "traditional path", but it will be the right one. Their happy and fulfilled lives prove it.

Vegan Perspective on Heifer International

With the Holidays right around the corner, I've been seeing more and more ads for Heifer International again (whose link I am consciously not putting on my site). I've also been hearing more and more people say that this is the gift they are giving friends and family this year. This makes many of my vegan friends and me very sad! Please consider this carefully before you pay money to this organization; your friends and family just might not agree with Heifer International's premise.

To be brief, Heifer International is an organization that allows givers to purchase a variety of animals (for different fees) that are then given to individuals, families, or villages. The animals are then raised by these people and either sold, raised for milk and eggs and wool, or outright eaten. I believe the organization's goal is to help end world hunger, clearly an admirable goal, but also clearly not possible in the manner they are attempting.

To share why this isn't possible, here are links to just two of the many articles that give voice to a vegan's discontent:

• Unitarian Universalists for the Ethical Treatment of Animals's Article on "What's Wrong with the Heifer Project?" [Note for those concerned: UFETA is not affiliated with PETA]
  
• The Independent's Andrew Tyler's article "Don't follow the herd and give a cow for Christmas"
  

So you like the idea of giving to a charity that can help starving people, rather than spending your money on gifts that may or may not be appreciated? Consider these humane alternatives that are doing a lot of good:

• Food for Life Global
• Sustainable Harvest International
  
• Fruit Tree Planting Foundation

Still not convinced that a vegan diet is the only way that world hunger can be ended? Consider these facts:

• The average number of lives saved [per year] by being a vegetarian is 95 (being vegan saves even more)
• GoVeg's "Meat and the Environment" page
• The Human Farming Association's "Factory Farming" page
• Vegetarian USA's Food "Choices & the Planet" page
  

My last words for today are actually The New York Times words from their "Reasons To Be A Vegetarian" article dated June 20, 1989.

Create Your Own Community

With families often living great distances from each other, and friends often going separate ways, finding a community to share your life with can often be tricky in this day and age. Are you feeling alone? Consider creating your own community!

Since there are not a lot of Unschoolers in Southern Arizona (where my family and I live), some friends and I started the SOARing Unschoolers (SOuthern ARizona Unschoolers) group to seek out other families with similar parenting and lifestyle interests. We talk online and have gatherings that average out to about once a week. While none of us are identical in our beliefs and come from very diverse backgrounds, our bonds strengthen whenever we are together since we all believe in Unschooling. Unschooling is a lifestyle choice that bonds families in very interesting and strong ways, even when cultural and individual differences exist. It is a whole way of thinking that respects children as fully formed human beings and believes in their innate ability to learn from living.

Advertise what you are looking for. Libraries, bookstores, and online lists are great ways to seek out like-minded people/families. Thousands and thousands of google and yahoo groups exist just for people to find communities of people with similar interests. If in your search you can't find a single individual with a similar lifestyle, consider broadening your scope and definition of lifestyle. Just get out there (or stay home) and do the things that interest you and look around at the other people doing them with you. The people might not be a similar age or from the same background as you, but these are the people that make up your community. Take a class, browse around a hobby shop, ask your co-workers out to dinner. You might find that you have a lot more in common than you originally thought (or you might learn about new ways of living that you never knew of before). Don't be afraid of talking to random strangers in stores. You might find a new best friend in that carseat aisle. Then again, you might not, but at least you'll know that you broadened your horizons and took a chance!

Breast Cancer Prevention -- It is possible! -- Part 2

"What if you or someone you love already has cancer? Shouldn't you be supporting the organizations that help in the research?"

Yes, definitely! My post yesterday wasn't saying you shouldn't; quite the opposite actually! Just look into what each organization is actually doing before giving them your well earned money. Do you want to support actual cures, or do you want to support a few more drugs that might kill off already existing cancer, yet do nothing for helping the person be healthy now and in the future?

Most people have no better way of showing their support for something than how they spend their money. Even people that have very little money can make a huge difference in this world just by choosing where their money goes.

I give my money to causes that I support. I know where the money is going and I approve of how it is spent. I encourage others to do similarly.

I write in order to help empower people to choose their lives for themselves! Just because your grocery store might have decided that an organization is worth supporting doesn't mean that you should (doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't, either). Choose for yourself what you believe in, then use your money to support it.

The vast majority of cancers are caused by dietary factors. The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine shows the following:

Estimated Percentages of Cancer Due to Selected Factors

• Diet 35-60%
• Tobacco 30%
• Air and Water Pollution 5%
• Radiation 3%
• Medications 2%

While radiation and pollution factors aren't always easily controlled, diet, tobacco, and medications are. "Foods are important, not only in preventing cancer, but also in improving survival for those who already have cancer." If you have cancer, it is essential that you make your diet healthier immediately in order to have the highest chance of survival. If you want to make a difference in cancer research, use your money to help in the research that shows how diet affects health.

For more information on breast cancer survival, prevention, and mammography, check out the Cancer Project site.

Breast Cancer Prevention -- It is possible!

With October being "Breast Cancer Awareness" month, I've been asked at just about every check-out counter I've been to whether I'd like to donate to breast cancer research or not. I've always said no and I've been made to feel like an ogre for this. I'm not. With Do Life Right, I am promoting a true healthy diet (low fat pure vegetarian -- vegan) that prevents diseases from occurring. This is a much better use of my time, energy, and money than donating to these organizations or participating in a walk for the cure. If you check out the various awareness sites, you'll find no mention of how a vegan diet can cure diseases and little information on food at all. You'll mostly find information on drugs and other "therapies" with a little information thrown in about moderate exercise and getting more fiber. This is not enough!

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has this to say: "Breast cancer rates are dramatically lower in countries where diets are typically plant-based. When people from those countries adopt a Western, meat-based diet, their rates of breast cancer soar. "

This isn't new information, although it isn't well publicized. Doctors such as Dr. John McDougall have been telling their patients and the world about this information for over thirty years, check out his information on breast cancer (there are a bunch of wonderful articles listed on this page!). While you are reading, check out The Cancer Project's information on Cancer Prevention and Survival for Breast Cancer, too.

McDougall also dispels the myth of mammograms. Have you been lead to believe that these are a necessary part of a woman's health care? They shouldn't be! The unpopular truth is that mammography fails. (Be sure to read the mammography links on the McDougall website.)

For in-depth information on diet and how it affects our health, check out The China Study by T. Colin Campbell. I strongly believe that in another thirty years this information will be well known. People will be saying, "I wish someone would have told me the benefits of a vegan diet all those years ago. It would have saved me so much suffering." I'm here, telling you now in 2007. Please do the research yourself! The information and proof exists. Take back your health today! It is never too late to become a healthier you.

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I will give credit where credit is due. The American Breast Cancer Foundation, the A.P. John Institute for Cancer Research, the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade, and the United Cancer Research Society have all passed PCRM's "Humane Charity Seal of Approval". None do testing on animals (which is a very good thing!). I still strongly believe that if you are wanting to donate money to a worthy organization, your best bet is PCRM. Dollar for dollar, they are doing the best to actually help and prevent diseases.

Have a Vision: Vision Boards and Vision Boxes

Vision Boards and Vision Boxes are becoming very popular! They are similar to Wish Lists, yet significantly deeper. Vision Boards can encompass not only our material desires, but also our deepest and innermost wishes and dreams such as "more peace" or "a magical existence". With The Law of Attraction and "The Secret" so popular, we're learning that our thoughts and dreams really can come true! We just have to really want them.

My daughters and I have vision boards. We made ours out of cut peg board. We glued cork on different areas of the boards (different for each of us), strung wire on the back, and stained little wooden boxes that we later glued on the boards. We use the cork area for the material things and/or short term events we want (ours are evolving with us). The other area we've mod-podged things that make us feel good -- pictures of things, words, etc. that reflect who we are and who we want to be (I've put lots of calm, zen images on my board; my oldest daughter has lots of magical images; my youngest daughter has gemstones and ballet photos). Basically, we put things on our boards that we want to manifest into our lives. My youngest daughter cleverly hooked a cup onto her board that she fills with little homemade clay items.

Some people choose to make Vision Binders or Boxes where they put photos and magazine words/pictures/items into. We prefer our Boards that hang on the wall, so we can look at them throughout the day. The boards definitely lack the portability of a binder though. I've seen a variety of Vision Boards made out of cardboard, foam board, and other materials. The great thing about these is that there is no set way of making them. It is entirely up to you! Christine Kane wrote a really great "How to Make a Vision Board" blog entry for those interested. Some people even make computer wallpaper Vision Boards for their screen's background. This is a very neat concept!

We enjoy our Vision Boards so much that we held a "Vision Board Day" with our Girl Scout Troop (I'm a Girl Scout Leader for both of my daughters' troops). I've been amazed at the wonderful and creative ideas the girls have had! This also gave us a chance to share our collection of catalogs and magazines. Some of the girls put only words all over their boards, others chose only pictures. One thing is for certain: our boards have to evolve since we keep getting everything we hope and dream for! It is amazing how these things keep appearing in our lives.

With the Holiday Season just around the corner, I'm excited to see the items that are popping up on my daughters' Vision Boards. I know what they'll love to receive and I don't have to ask them.

Don't forget to periodically take photos of your Vision Boards. It is fun to look back over time and see how your dreams have come true!

"Where Should I Live?" Find Your Best Spot

I've been asked this question several times now, so here is my answer.

I believe that everyone should live in the place where they thrive the most. This physical place will absolutely not be the same for everyone, nor do we want it to be! That would just cause horrible overcrowding issues. However, if your surroundings are causing you pain (physical, mental, or emotional), then it is time for change. Maybe you only need a small rearranging of your living room. Maybe you need to move to the other side of the planet.

Yes, I am enamored with where I live. My family and I have determined that where we live is the only place on Earth where we want to be. We look out our windows and feel ultimate contentment. We strive every single day to keep our level of contentment the same or better. It has taken a lot of time and questioning for us to get where we are and we still don't have our dream home, but we are working on that aspect also.

Do not be afraid of change. Your own personal "best place" might change over time. This does not mean that you were wrong before; it means that your needs have changed as you and your lifestyle change. Your "best place" might be a combination of places (e.g. Alaska in the summer and Florida in the winter). Perhaps you thrive best as a traveler. I'm always amazed at the people that love that lifestyle. It must be exciting. I, however, need roots to feel content. There is no correct answer on where your "best place" is. However, it is a huge mistake to not listen to yourself when you know that you are in a bad place.

If you aren't 100% happy with where you live, try spending as much time as possible checking out alternate locations.

Ask yourself these questions (and more!):

• Why do I live where I live?


• What brought me to this location?


• Do my surroundings give me pleasure and happiness?


• Does the weather where I live make me happy or bring me down?


• Do I need a lot of sunlight, or is snow skiing what gives my life passion?


• Do I spend more time dreaming of faraway places than I spend enjoying my present surroundings?


• Am I happy with where I am? (You might find that you are, even if at first you don't think you are! Maybe there is no better place for you than your current town.)


• Do I want to live off-grid or on-grid or with a grid-tie system?


• Do I need a large area for gardening? Small area for gardening? Or, does gardening not matter to me at all?


• Do I hate lawn care? What about shoveling snow?

Do you feel trapped in your town, in your life and want to move, but you don't know where to go or even how to determine where to go? If you don't have the time or the funds for traveling around the world, try checking out the following sites. I've found their questions worth thinking about in helping my family determine where our own personal "best spot" is.

Find Your Spot
Sperling's Best Places

Once you have determined the location of your "best spot", put up photos around your home to help you bring it into your life. Don't have photos? Check out that area's tourist sites. Order free newcomer packets. Check out real estate companies in that area. Print photos of what you want your life to look like. We've found that vision boards work nicely for helping us manifest our desires into our lives.

Above all, make the best of where you are. Live as if your dreams have already come true. After all, you are where you are today. Work on getting to your dream location while enjoying the best that your current location has to offer. Where you are right now is someone's dream location. Enjoy this day!

Making Your House the Home You've Always Wanted

As we spent time piecing together what our perfect living environment was, we realized that we needed to think more organically. Our needs have changed over and over again through the years as we went from a young married couple, to a family with a baby, a family with a young child and a newborn, and now a family with a young child and a middle aged child. As our children grow and as our own personal interests wax and wane, our environment needs to grow and reflect that. We have needed to build flexibility into our spaces, so that every time our needs change we don't need to spend a lot of money to remodel. We aren't the only Unschooling family to live in this way. For us, part of the change has been to design a whole new house around the way we live. Clearly, this isn't the answer for most people (and we aren't there yet as the designed house isn't built yet).

What can you do if you want to move, but you cannot?

Make your house fit your family's personality! Don't be afraid to rearrange the rooms in your house to fit your family's lifestyle better. Who says that you need to have a table in the dining area? Maybe that space works better as a Lego room. Take an honest look at what you and your family actually do with their time. Devote the largest and most convenient rooms of your house to those activities. Do you work from home? Maybe your living room should be your office. Are you training for an ultramarathon? Put your exercise equipment front and center. There is no rule saying that people need to sleep in the designated bedrooms, either. Do what works best for your individual needs. Try room dividers. Add shelving everywhere that you can make it fit. You are the ones that live in your house, not anyone else.

Here are a few books that helped my family make our house work more efficiently for us. I have a more extensive list in my aStore under the "Do Living Right" category.

Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life: How to Use Feng Shui to Get Love, Money, Respect, and Happiness
Karen Rauch Carter

Feng Shui for the Rest of Us
Gabrielle Alizay

The Bathroom Idea Book
Andrew Wormer

The Kitchen Idea Book
Joanne Bouknight

Taunton's Home Storage Idea Book
Joanne Bouknight

Built-In Furniture
Jim Tolpin

Taunton's Home Storage Idea Book
Joanne Bouknight

Taunton's Home Workspace Idea Book
Neal Zimmerman

The Organizing Sourcebook
Kathy Waddill

Dissection Alternatives

Dissection alternatives have never been more humane, interesting, or accurate. Remember the smell of formaldehyde in Biology class? Your children need not become familiar with it.

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine is giving away copies of Digital Frog2. This DVD is a fun and humane way for people to learn about anatomy without harming animals. There are also free workbook materials for those interested.

"I'd Unschool, but my kids would play video games all day..."

This is another unfounded "complaint" I receive when I tell other parents that we are Unschoolers. Silly complaint, since real learning comes whilst playing video games. I can't get my kids to play enough. ;) When kids are given the freedom to follow their passions, their lives become very well rounded naturally. Passionate lives thrive when seemingly unlimited time can be given to an interest. Remember the last time you had a new, exciting interest? Didn't it consume your mind? This is good - fantastic actually! This can make it temporarily look like that thing is the only thing that a person is doing, but this is not how things pan out over time. Just like a well balanced diet can best be seen over the course of a few days, a well balanced life can best be seen that way as well.

Don't forget that if your family is new to Unschooling, you'll all need time to Deschool. Please do not forget this step, as it is the most essential step there is to fully comprehending what Unschooling is all about and how it can help your entire family reach their full potential in life.

Still freaked out about video games? Check out these:

• Discover Magazine has Steven Johnson's article "Your Brain on Video Games"
• LivingJoyfully has Pam Laricchia's "Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Video Games" (Check out the references at the end, they are very interesting)
• Steven Johnson's book, Everything Bad is Good For You

Still have questions about your kid's games? Don't let them be "your kids" games. Join them! Play with them, right beside them. Read the manuals and fansites. Be involved. You, too, just might find a new passion and you'll be amazed at how much your kids are learning without being forced to. Proper Unschooling requires very hands on parenting.

My family's current favorite online sites with games:

• Webkinz (This is a wonderful online virtual pet website, buy the stuffed animal then enjoy the benefits of this amazing online world. I've checked out several imitative sites, and as of today none compare to Webkinz in quality.)

• Sand Game (This highly fun game is a perpetual favorite here. We had to try some of the combinations in real life. Check out the theme song, it's amazing!)

• Line Rider (There are many fan video clips on YouTube. There is also a really cool Line Rider Fan Site.)
• PBS Kids
• American Girl (We love the Mancala game in the Addy section.)
• Groovy Girls
  

My family's current favorite regular video games:

• Chemicus
• Physicus
• Nancy Drew
  

Still not getting along with your older child? Here are some additional parenting resources that I've gotten a lot out of. For best results, read them before your child is "older".

The Teenage Liberation Handbook
Grace Llewellyn