Why Vegan Body Products?

I've had people say to me, "I get why you eat a vegan diet and I am against animal testing. However, I don't understand why you won't buy shampoos and lip balms, etc. that contain animal ingredients."

Simple answer: Do you know exactly what those animal ingredients are? If you did, you just might not want to put them on your body, either (especially lipsticks and lip balms since so much of them can be swallowed!). Here is a more simple list of common animal ingredients in cosmetics.

Next time you are in your shower, read the ingredients in your shampoo. It's a lot like reading the nutritional information on food. If you don't know what something is, it's probably not good for you. Look up the mysterious ingredients on labels before you buy the product. [I've found that an easily portable digital camera can help with documenting what ingredients are in a product.]

Makeup, lotions, and body cleansing products often have a variety of animal derived products in them. Why should this concern you? Did you know that, similar to food, what you put ON your body is absorbed INTO your body? (That is sort of the point regarding lotions.) Do you want strange chemicals and animal parts to become part of who you are? Want to know if your products are deemed safe (even if they aren't vegan)? Look them up on Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep: Cosmetic Safety Database.

I like a good bath. I'm just careful to note what the ingredients are first! As I've mentioned before, Lush vegan bathbombs are my favorite. Vegan Freak has a nice list of companies listed here; check out their whole site, too!

And, of course, there is the issue of testing products ON animals as well. All vegan products do not use animals in any way, not for the product itself nor the testing. Here is an interesting list of Cruelty Free Companies, and here is a great new way to be certified as a vegan product.

When it comes to buying products that go in or on my body, my basic motto is "When in doubt, throw it out."

Wonder Falling

Ever notice the intense wonder in a young child's eyes? Wonder why the older children and adults you meet don't have it any more? I've spent a lot of time wondering about this very thing. When my first daughter was a baby, I wanted her to keep this sense of pure amazement as long as possible. I didn't ever want her to lose it. I loved that wide-eyed look of pure joy in her eyes. I wanted it, too.

My kids still have this wonderment and I'm gaining it again -- more and more every day. The conscious decision to not let it disappear has helped stop me in my tracks every time I've almost taken some of it away from my children.

I believe, and it has been shown to me many times, that well meaning parents and teachers are to blame for knocking this wonderment about life out of their children. Every time a parent or teacher teaches a child a "life lesson", sparkles of joy leave that person -- usually for ever. These "life lessons" are almost unequivocally never taught to people in any other way. What I mean by this is that these lessons aren't real life and in real life, they aren't found. If, perchance, they are -- the person living it will certainly learn the "lesson" very quickly. It need not have ever been taught. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty for your past behavior. I'm saying this in order to give you hope that all happiness can be regained if you desire it to be!

I love this quote from Radical Parenting:
"Most of the psychotherapy I have done with people has been to help them get over the damage they suffered from parents/teachers preparing them for life."

It is our obligation to the future generations of this world to be the very best parents we can be. Who cares how you were raised! You still have it in you to be an excellent parent. I believe everyone does. Don't blame the people that raised you for your own failings. Decide to change them now and make a commitment to not pass them to your children. Spankings and put-downs are not hereditary. You have the power to not perpetuate poor parenting.

As an Unschooling Mom, I vowed to never stop appreciating the wonder in my children's eyes. I see it in them every day. Yes, EVERY day. They've given me my spark back -- it is the best gift ever. Sometimes I feel as though I am walking around in a wonderful daze of pure joy. This world is astounding, interesting, and superbly amazing. When was the last time you felt that way? It isn't too late. Try playing with a young child -- on their level -- for a few hours. It is inspiring to become fascinated with every little thing in your surroundings again. Getting lost in the wonder of it all, whilst sharing the time with a child, is one of life's greatest pleasures. Look closely at things. Even the dirt on your floor is pretty interesting up close and personal. Pretend, if you have to, that you've never seen that exact thing ever before. Notice the beauty of it. It doesn't have to be a thing of nature, it could be a plastic toy or a bite of food.

Find your WONDER! Enjoy its peace.

Talk to Strangers -- I dare you not to

"Don't talk to strangers." I hear the parents at the park telling their children again.

I've never said this phrase to my kids. I have, OTOH, modeled talking to strangers thousands of times. Every new person we meet is a stranger. Every waitress, every pilot, every dance class teacher, every other parent in a playgroup, even every doctor we meet for the first time is a stranger... *YOU* are most likely a stranger to me, yet you just might be a person that comes into my life and stays for a very long time. I'm always on the lookout for interesting people. My kids are always on the lookout for people with common interests. If we see a person in a store looking at an item that we are interested in, one of us just might start talking to that person. If we see a family at a park playing on the playground equipment, we almost always say "hi".

I don't believe in "Stranger Danger". I do, however, believe strongly in modeling communication with other people of all ages in front of my children. Part of that includes knowing to trust your instincts. My children and I honor our gut reactions. We don't stay around people that feel dangerous to us, no matter who they are. They know when to hold my hand and when it is safe to run and play. They trust themselves and they trust me. My husband and I trust them. We model not getting ourselves into dangerous situations (we TALK-TALK-TALK about this -- especially when traveling) and most importantly, we model how to get out of dangerous situations as quickly and efficiently as possible. So far, this has always worked quite well.

I should also mention here that we also have never forced our children to hug, kiss, or otherwise show affection or talk to anyone that they weren't comfortable with. Sure this can cause relatives to have hurt feelings, but I would never sacrifice my children's natural instinctive knowledge by forcing them to hug a friend or relative that they didn't want to hug. Forcing someone to do this is very dangerous and makes children start to not trust themselves. Any adult friend or relative that doesn't understand this doesn't need to be around my children. (I always politely explain this philosophy and rarely have had problems once I've explained our reasoning.)

The key point here is an Unschooling point: Our children have never been in a situation without me, my husband, or someone that we ALL trust completely. Some day, sooner than we'd like, our children will be all grown up and on their own. I strongly believe that they'll have to interact with strangers on a regular basis, probably most days of their lives. I want them to gain the knowledge of how to do this safely and politely before they are out on their own. They might even have to talk with strangers on the telephone! It is good that they are watching us, learning how to talk with people now. I'd hate for them to not learn how to talk to people until they turn 18.

Think I am insane and not "protecting" my children? Try reading Gavin De Becker's "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)" or his "Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence". These books can help parents learn how to relearn how to trust their own natural instincts and how to not squash these instincts out of their children. There is nothing more peaceful than feeling safe.

Zen Gardening

Here is my family's ~30' labyrinth. We built this for meditating, relaxing, walking (exercise), and for just plain enjoyment. I've always wanted a rock labyrinth. Sometimes we walk as a family, sometimes individually. I believe that everyone needs their own little space (inside or outside) to help allow for a zen filled existence. Whether yours is a garden, a meditation area, or a labyrinth like ours, I hope you get a little corner of the world that is all yours.

Vegan Perspective on Heifer International

With the Holidays right around the corner, I've been seeing more and more ads for Heifer International again (whose link I am consciously not putting on my site). I've also been hearing more and more people say that this is the gift they are giving friends and family this year. This makes many of my vegan friends and me very sad! Please consider this carefully before you pay money to this organization; your friends and family just might not agree with Heifer International's premise.

To be brief, Heifer International is an organization that allows givers to purchase a variety of animals (for different fees) that are then given to individuals, families, or villages. The animals are then raised by these people and either sold, raised for milk and eggs and wool, or outright eaten. I believe the organization's goal is to help end world hunger, clearly an admirable goal, but also clearly not possible in the manner they are attempting.

To share why this isn't possible, here are links to just two of the many articles that give voice to a vegan's discontent:

• Unitarian Universalists for the Ethical Treatment of Animals's Article on "What's Wrong with the Heifer Project?" [Note for those concerned: UFETA is not affiliated with PETA]
  
• The Independent's Andrew Tyler's article "Don't follow the herd and give a cow for Christmas"
  

So you like the idea of giving to a charity that can help starving people, rather than spending your money on gifts that may or may not be appreciated? Consider these humane alternatives that are doing a lot of good:

• Food for Life Global
• Sustainable Harvest International
  
• Fruit Tree Planting Foundation

Still not convinced that a vegan diet is the only way that world hunger can be ended? Consider these facts:

• The average number of lives saved [per year] by being a vegetarian is 95 (being vegan saves even more)
• GoVeg's "Meat and the Environment" page
• The Human Farming Association's "Factory Farming" page
• Vegetarian USA's Food "Choices & the Planet" page
  

My last words for today are actually The New York Times words from their "Reasons To Be A Vegetarian" article dated June 20, 1989.

Have a Vision: Vision Boards and Vision Boxes

Vision Boards and Vision Boxes are becoming very popular! They are similar to Wish Lists, yet significantly deeper. Vision Boards can encompass not only our material desires, but also our deepest and innermost wishes and dreams such as "more peace" or "a magical existence". With The Law of Attraction and "The Secret" so popular, we're learning that our thoughts and dreams really can come true! We just have to really want them.

My daughters and I have vision boards. We made ours out of cut peg board. We glued cork on different areas of the boards (different for each of us), strung wire on the back, and stained little wooden boxes that we later glued on the boards. We use the cork area for the material things and/or short term events we want (ours are evolving with us). The other area we've mod-podged things that make us feel good -- pictures of things, words, etc. that reflect who we are and who we want to be (I've put lots of calm, zen images on my board; my oldest daughter has lots of magical images; my youngest daughter has gemstones and ballet photos). Basically, we put things on our boards that we want to manifest into our lives. My youngest daughter cleverly hooked a cup onto her board that she fills with little homemade clay items.

Some people choose to make Vision Binders or Boxes where they put photos and magazine words/pictures/items into. We prefer our Boards that hang on the wall, so we can look at them throughout the day. The boards definitely lack the portability of a binder though. I've seen a variety of Vision Boards made out of cardboard, foam board, and other materials. The great thing about these is that there is no set way of making them. It is entirely up to you! Christine Kane wrote a really great "How to Make a Vision Board" blog entry for those interested. Some people even make computer wallpaper Vision Boards for their screen's background. This is a very neat concept!

We enjoy our Vision Boards so much that we held a "Vision Board Day" with our Girl Scout Troop (I'm a Girl Scout Leader for both of my daughters' troops). I've been amazed at the wonderful and creative ideas the girls have had! This also gave us a chance to share our collection of catalogs and magazines. Some of the girls put only words all over their boards, others chose only pictures. One thing is for certain: our boards have to evolve since we keep getting everything we hope and dream for! It is amazing how these things keep appearing in our lives.

With the Holiday Season just around the corner, I'm excited to see the items that are popping up on my daughters' Vision Boards. I know what they'll love to receive and I don't have to ask them.

Don't forget to periodically take photos of your Vision Boards. It is fun to look back over time and see how your dreams have come true!

"Where Should I Live?" Find Your Best Spot

I've been asked this question several times now, so here is my answer.

I believe that everyone should live in the place where they thrive the most. This physical place will absolutely not be the same for everyone, nor do we want it to be! That would just cause horrible overcrowding issues. However, if your surroundings are causing you pain (physical, mental, or emotional), then it is time for change. Maybe you only need a small rearranging of your living room. Maybe you need to move to the other side of the planet.

Yes, I am enamored with where I live. My family and I have determined that where we live is the only place on Earth where we want to be. We look out our windows and feel ultimate contentment. We strive every single day to keep our level of contentment the same or better. It has taken a lot of time and questioning for us to get where we are and we still don't have our dream home, but we are working on that aspect also.

Do not be afraid of change. Your own personal "best place" might change over time. This does not mean that you were wrong before; it means that your needs have changed as you and your lifestyle change. Your "best place" might be a combination of places (e.g. Alaska in the summer and Florida in the winter). Perhaps you thrive best as a traveler. I'm always amazed at the people that love that lifestyle. It must be exciting. I, however, need roots to feel content. There is no correct answer on where your "best place" is. However, it is a huge mistake to not listen to yourself when you know that you are in a bad place.

If you aren't 100% happy with where you live, try spending as much time as possible checking out alternate locations.

Ask yourself these questions (and more!):

• Why do I live where I live?


• What brought me to this location?


• Do my surroundings give me pleasure and happiness?


• Does the weather where I live make me happy or bring me down?


• Do I need a lot of sunlight, or is snow skiing what gives my life passion?


• Do I spend more time dreaming of faraway places than I spend enjoying my present surroundings?


• Am I happy with where I am? (You might find that you are, even if at first you don't think you are! Maybe there is no better place for you than your current town.)


• Do I want to live off-grid or on-grid or with a grid-tie system?


• Do I need a large area for gardening? Small area for gardening? Or, does gardening not matter to me at all?


• Do I hate lawn care? What about shoveling snow?

Do you feel trapped in your town, in your life and want to move, but you don't know where to go or even how to determine where to go? If you don't have the time or the funds for traveling around the world, try checking out the following sites. I've found their questions worth thinking about in helping my family determine where our own personal "best spot" is.

Find Your Spot
Sperling's Best Places

Once you have determined the location of your "best spot", put up photos around your home to help you bring it into your life. Don't have photos? Check out that area's tourist sites. Order free newcomer packets. Check out real estate companies in that area. Print photos of what you want your life to look like. We've found that vision boards work nicely for helping us manifest our desires into our lives.

Above all, make the best of where you are. Live as if your dreams have already come true. After all, you are where you are today. Work on getting to your dream location while enjoying the best that your current location has to offer. Where you are right now is someone's dream location. Enjoy this day!

Making Your House the Home You've Always Wanted

As we spent time piecing together what our perfect living environment was, we realized that we needed to think more organically. Our needs have changed over and over again through the years as we went from a young married couple, to a family with a baby, a family with a young child and a newborn, and now a family with a young child and a middle aged child. As our children grow and as our own personal interests wax and wane, our environment needs to grow and reflect that. We have needed to build flexibility into our spaces, so that every time our needs change we don't need to spend a lot of money to remodel. We aren't the only Unschooling family to live in this way. For us, part of the change has been to design a whole new house around the way we live. Clearly, this isn't the answer for most people (and we aren't there yet as the designed house isn't built yet).

What can you do if you want to move, but you cannot?

Make your house fit your family's personality! Don't be afraid to rearrange the rooms in your house to fit your family's lifestyle better. Who says that you need to have a table in the dining area? Maybe that space works better as a Lego room. Take an honest look at what you and your family actually do with their time. Devote the largest and most convenient rooms of your house to those activities. Do you work from home? Maybe your living room should be your office. Are you training for an ultramarathon? Put your exercise equipment front and center. There is no rule saying that people need to sleep in the designated bedrooms, either. Do what works best for your individual needs. Try room dividers. Add shelving everywhere that you can make it fit. You are the ones that live in your house, not anyone else.

Here are a few books that helped my family make our house work more efficiently for us. I have a more extensive list in my aStore under the "Do Living Right" category.

Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life: How to Use Feng Shui to Get Love, Money, Respect, and Happiness
Karen Rauch Carter

Feng Shui for the Rest of Us
Gabrielle Alizay

The Bathroom Idea Book
Andrew Wormer

The Kitchen Idea Book
Joanne Bouknight

Taunton's Home Storage Idea Book
Joanne Bouknight

Built-In Furniture
Jim Tolpin

Taunton's Home Storage Idea Book
Joanne Bouknight

Taunton's Home Workspace Idea Book
Neal Zimmerman

The Organizing Sourcebook
Kathy Waddill

Vegan and Ethical Trick-or-Treating

With Halloween just over a month away, I've been having people tell me they feel sorry for my kids. They think that because we are vegan, we don't eat candy or go trick or treating. We happen to do both. :)

To have an ethical Halloween, consider what you purchase for your Halloween handouts.

• Do you really need to pass out candy?
  
• Have you considered passing out glow sticks, Play-Doh, small stuffed animals (my girls received cute little TY ghosts two Halloweens ago), stickers, little notebooks, polished rocks, hair clips, small toys (like balls or cars), or even pencils and erasers? Maybe nice bright brand-new shiny pennies, nickels, dimes, or even quarters? My girls would love this!
• Many cracker, nut, cereal, and pretzel companies make snack sized bags that would be perfect for passing out. Don't forget fruit leathers and raisins, too.
  
• If you must pass out candy, have you checked all the ingredients? Do you know what they are?
  
• Do you know where and how the candy was made? Besides the harm to your body, did you know that nearly half of the world's chocolate comes from West Africa, where children are being forced to farm it? If chocolate is a must for you (it is for us), try purchasing ethical chocolates from companies such as Dagoba, Endangered Species, and Equal Exchange. Yes, these cost more, but they are worth it. They even sell bags of mini-sized ones! I've seen these at surprising places, including Wal-Mart!
  
• Don't feel obligated into keeping your light on all night. Spend your regular alloted amount on candy, then turn your porch light off when you run out. You aren't obligated to give candy to every kid in town.
• Still aren't sure what to do? Check out this Fair Trade Trick or Treat Action Kit.
  

VegFamily Magazine wrote a great article titled "Vegan Halloween - Tricks and Treats". Be sure to check out the PETA list of Vegan Candy. This is a very thorough list that also has a short list of some of the most common candy ingredients that make candy not vegan. Be sure to read ingredients before you buy (even if the candy is on the PETA list) since companies can change their recipes (or have different ingredients depending on what country you live in; e.g. Skittles in Europe are currently vegan, they are not in the United States).

Once you go Trick-or-Treating, what can you do with all of your non-vegan loot? Here are our favorite ideas:

• Use it for gingerbread house decorating.
• Donate to a food shelter.
• Take it to work and leave it in the break room.
  

VegFamily Magazine has a fun little "Top 10 Things to do with Non-Vegan Halloween Candy" article.

Above all, enjoy this festive holiday with your children. They can only dress up and go Trick or Treating for so many years, enjoy every second of the fun. And, of course, don't forget to take photographs.

Catalogs I LOVE

I'm not a fan of receiving too many catalogs and other mail that I don't want. However, I am a huge fan of receiving catalogs in the mail that I'm going to keep around a while and reference. Be sure to check out online catalogs before you have a paper one sent to you. If you prefer to look and purchase online only, be sure to drop them an e-mail saying you don't want catalogs sent to you.

Here are catalogs that I love. They inspire me and my children. We keep them for weeks, or months, or years. We cut them up and make collages with them (then ATCs out of those), we dream about the photos, they broaden our worlds. They often intrigue us and help us have a more Zen-like life, all at the same time. And, sometimes, of course, we actually buy things out of them. :) We keep our wished for items on our vision boards for all the world to see and miraculously, we usually have our wishes come true.

Kid Stuff:
Chinaberry (books, toys, audio books)
Oriental Trading Company (they have several different catalogs)
MindWare (fun "thinking" toys)
Lego Magazine and Catalog
HearthSong (miscellaneous fun toys, lots of wood items)
Spilsbury (puzzles, etc.)
C.W.D. Kids (clothing for little kids)
Magic Cabin (similar to Hearthsong, but more Waldorf -- beautiful illustrations!)
Educational Innovations (science things, their catalog is MUCH better than their online store)
Steve Spangler Science (science fun)
Hammacher Schlemmer (fun dream toys)
Discover Channel Store (great toy and DVD source)

Household Stuff:
IKEA (everything you need to furnish an entire house)
Solutions Catalog (all kinds of interesting things)

Zen Stuff that has all kinds of things:
Isabella Catalog (the "grown-up" Chinaberry Catalog)
Signals
The Wireless Catalog
Gaiam (they have several different catalogs)
Lush (nice massage bars and bath bombs)
Dharma Trading (dyes and blanks for dyeing things -- I always keep a catalog on-hand)
Acacia (some of the neatest things I've seen for a while)

For Travel and outdoor:
Sahalie (clothing, traveling, and outdoor supplies)
TravelSmith (clothing and supplies for traveling)
Magellans

Online only:
Geeks.com (discounted fun electronics)
ThinkGeek.com (fun geeky things)
amazon.com (just about everything these days)
Kodak Gallery
Vegan Essentials
Rick Steves (excellent source for traveling supplies, best source for information about traveling in Europe)

Enjoy!

Support Local Artists

Next time you are on the market for a new painting, sculpture, or other artistic gift, check out your local artists. I keep being pleasantly surprised at the wonderful artwork that is created in and around my community. Some of my recent finds include:

• Diana Madaras -- canvases, prints, calendars, art tiles, and more (I was introduced to her work when it was auctioned off at a PCRM dinner at Tucson's vegan restaurant, Lovin' Spoonfuls, last year). We just met this artist at her signing last night; she is just as lovely in person as we imagined her to be. My oldest daughter is a huge fan! Be sure to check out her display at the Tucson airport, if you are flying through.
  

• Desert Art Works -- mobiles, windchimes, metal sculptures

My favorite artist from Iowa (where I am originally from) is:

• Isabel Bloom -- sculptures

Go check out your local galleries and galleries you find while you travel. Some amazing artwork can be found at very decent prices. I sometimes even find sculpture and furniture artists showing their wares on street corners. These people are incredibly talented! My daughters and I have fun looking at artwork wherever we go.

As a speculative fiction writer myself (another type of artist), I have found meeting with local writers to be very interesting and inspiring. I am a member of the Tucson Romance Writer's of America chapter. Their monthly meetings are always fun and educational and I have thoroughly enjoyed working my way through reading (a small portion) of the published author's writings. Check your local bookstores in the local authors section. You just might find a new favorite.

Then, of course, don't forget that you can make your own artwork! The majority of art around our house is handcrafted by my children and myself. We highly enjoy these pieces because they are beautiful and hold sentimental value. Be sure to check out local and online communities of artist's trading cards. This is a really fun way to have your own versions of other's art.

Land of Enchantment

New Mexico is called the Land of Enchantment for a very good reason. This huge state has desert, high mountains, lava fields, white sands, and much more. Our goal on this latest adventure was to explore space and the white sand dunes.

First, we went sledding in White Sands, using regular domed sleds. My daughter is certain that they call them "flying saucer domes" due to Roswell being such a short distance away. Perhaps the aliens needed to land in saucers so that they, too, could sled on the dunes? While the temperature was high, the sand was cool. It felt luxurious to walk in the sand barefoot.

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Next we visited the New Mexico Museum of Space History and IMAX theater. This little treat was perfect for us in our current explorations of space. We spent the entire day going between the two buildings, enjoying the exhibits and the shows. We capped off the day with a Halloween costume purchase for my little daughter. She is going as a NASA astronaut.

The next day, we made our way to Sunspot, NM, where the National Sun Observatory and the Apache Point Observatory are located. Sunspot is another hidden gem. We had the road to ourselves and the surroundings couldn't have been more beautiful. We were told that the view was of an area larger than the state of Connecticut! It did seem like we could see forever.

Then, of course, our trip wasn't complete without going back to the dunes on our way out of the area. We took the time right before our drive to sit in a zen-like state and listen to the silence. It was very refreshing.

What magazines do you and your family read?

We currently receive more than the following, but I'm only planning on resubscribing to these:

• New Moon -- Fun magazine for girls ages 8-15 (or so) and their families.
  
• Wired -- Interesting for the whole family, technically oriented. Through amazon.com.
• VegNews -- This magazine puts out a monthly online newsletter, too. Both have a lot of useful vegetarian and vegan information. It can also be purchased through amazon.com.
• body + soul -- I enjoy reading this magazine while taking a bath with Lush bathbombs. It is very Zen and I am always inspired to create something exciting after this experience.
  
• Live Free, Learn Free Magazine -- If you want to know more about Unschooling, but don't spend much time online, this is the magazine for you!
• Highlights -- This well known classic is amazingly a huge hit with my children and has been for several years. Through amazon.com.
• Connections -- This is an ezine on Unschooling and Mindful Parenting (two of my favorite topics.
• National Geographic Kids -- These are short, but colorful and fun. I don't enjoy all the advertising, but the content is interesting. Through amazon.com.
• PCRM's magazine -- Make a tax deductible contribution and you'll receive this amazing magazine. It is full of the latest and greatest research on curing diseases through diet.
  

Here are a few that I have enjoyed over the years, but have outgrown since my children are older now and we are seasoned Unschoolers:

• Mothering -- Wonderful information on pregnancy, birthing, vaccines, circumcision, etc.
• Life Learning Magazine -- Through amazon.com.
• The Compleat Mother