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I was undisciplined by birth, never would I bend, even in my tender youth, to a rule. It was at home I learned the little I know. Schools always appeared to me like a prison, and never could I make up my mind to stay there, not even for four hours a day, when the sunshine was inviting, the sea smooth, and when it was joy to run about the cliffs in the free air, or to paddle in the water. — Claude Monet


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Month Day
Topics: Arizona, contest, pets, photographs, vegan

Cat Haiku Contest Win

Happy day for my family and me!

When our local vegan restaurant, Lovin’ Spoonfuls Cafe, sent us an invitation for a benefit dinner for one of our favorite local cat shelters, Casa de los Gatos, we were immediately interested. Add in a haiku contest, plus the chance to meet up with some fabulous friends of ours, and we knew we just had to go!

The haiku contest was themed “pets”, and had two categories: Funny, and Heartfelt/Meaningful (we didn’t know these ahead of time). Each contestant could enter up to two haiku. My daughters and I, as well as one of our friends, each entered two haiku (yes, the plural of haiku is haiku–bugs me, too!). The poems were read out loud and everyone in the restaurant got to vote for their favorite in each category and their favorite overall.

While I technically was a runner up in the contest, I was the first runner up in both the funny and meaningful categories who didn’t work at the shelter. So, I won prizes! So fun, and completely unexpected!

Lisa and her haiku prizes--kitty tail hook for the "funny" poem, three cats for the "

Lisa and her haiku prizes--kitty tail hook for the "funny" poem, three cats for the "meaningful" poem

My winning haiku:

Petting my sweet cat
Way Better than therapy
Calm meditation

Pouncing morning meows
Remind me to seize the day
Starting with breakfast

Zoe’s entries:

Moths and butterflies
My kitten bats the window
To try and catch them

Fluffy white kittens
Chasing bitten drinking straws
Everything’s a toy

Teagan’s entries:

Monkeys are awesome
I really want to have one
We’ll eat bananas

My kitten is cute
She is very fluffy, too
And she likes to play

I hope Casa de los Gatos puts all the haiku on their website, as there were many wonderful entries. My personal favorite was about a shelter cat and the last line was something like, “Please give me a chance”. It brought tears to my eyes and made me have hope for all the sweet animals out there who don’t have homes. Please consider adopting a shelter pet today!

The best prize of all was meeting a loyal reader of the Do Life Right blog whom I’d never met before. Here’s a shout out to the lovely Amanda and her significant other for coming up to me after the dinner to tell me how much she has gotten out of this site. What I failed to convey to her is just how much people like her mean to me. Thank you! I love how serendipitous life can be sometimes! I really needed something like this today! Such a gift, at a moment it could be savored! :)

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Month Day
Topics: Unschooling, homeschooling, mindful parenting, relationships, vegetarian

I’m THAT Mom

I'm THAT Mom!

This post was inspired by the “I’m THAT Mom” blog carnival started on July 26, 2010 by Flo and Ronnie and many other wonderful bloggers–I know of over 40 posts in the carnival and they are all wonderful and inspiring.

  • I’m the mother who, after being told by her three year old daughter that she only wanted snow for Christmas, went out and bought a snowcone machine and spent hours and hours hand cranking out snow before Christmas morning. (Okay, so my husband helped, too–yep, he’s *that* dad).
  • I’m the mom who, even though crazy-scared, took her five year old daughter to caves in order to find real bats and stayed, through fear, until fear no longer existed–only rapture.
  • I’m the mama who, no matter the question and no matter the time, has discussions about whatever my kids want to talk about. I know if they don’t ask me, they’ll get their answers elsewhere and I want to be the one to have that kind of relationship with my kids.
  • I’m the mom who keeps a notebook in my purse so that I can write down any questions my kids have while we’re out (that I don’t already know the answers to), so that I can look them up as soon as possible once I have computer access again. I’m the mom constantly Skyping and e-mailing my kids cool links about all the things they are interested in.
  • I’m the mother who stays at dance class, even though my nine year old doesn’t “need” me anymore–because, you just never know when she just might need something. Oh, and yes, she usually does–a big kiss about 1/2 way through class, which coincides nicely with their water break. :)
  • I’m the mom who plans every vacation and outing around my kids’ interests, and somehow manages to take them to twice as many places as we can “afford” since this is their “education” and I am determined to help them make their dreams come true. Funny how we find everything, including grocery store trips and playdates, “educational”…
  • I’m the mother who writes an entire series of children’s chapter books because my kids weren’t happy with the current state of children’s chapter books today, and started a whole publishing company in order to publish even more books about fun families like ours (knowing full well that every Unschooling family is unique).
  • I’m the mom who picked their dad out of heaps and hordes of others who wanted the role, but I knew what characteristics I wanted for their father and I stood firm on those until I found the perfect man. He’s the dad who will give them anything, especially his love and full attention, at all hours of the day.
  • I’m the mom who gives her daughter her time and material to make anything she dreams of on the sewing machine, even when she has nary a clue how (we figure it out together)–the last creation was a human sized doll. I’m the mama who gives her daughter her clothes to *keep* so that the created adult-woman-sized doll is dressed fashionably.
  • I’m the mama who sits perfectly still while my hair and make-up is done by a little one without the same fashion sense as the rest of the world. Yep, I’m THAT mom–the one who goes out in public with those hair and makeup styles, and encourages others to do likewise.
  • I’m the mom who listens to my children’s ideas and dreams, and says, “Yes! Let’s figure out how to do that,” even when it means dancing with dinosaurs at midnight or other equally “impossible” productions.
  • I’m the mother who continually steps out of *her* comfort zone in order to meet her kids’ dreams.
  • I’m the mom who has never said, “No, I won’t do ___ because you already know how to do it yourself.” I’m also the mom who is proud that she has never once said, “Because I said so,” or “Because I told you to,” to my kids.  Yet, I’m the mom who is often getting surprise sandwiches, glasses of water, kisses, and other equally wonderful goodies delivered unexpectedly to her throughout the day.
  • I’m the mom who went vegetarian because her three year old thought it was unfathomable to consume animals.
  • I’m the mom who has taken at least one photograph of her children every single day of their lives, in hopes that none of their glory will ever be forgotten.
  • I’m the mama who can’t believe her children are growing up so quickly. I’ve never wished my kids away, nor yearned for a weekend without them–Yep, I’m THAT Mom–the unconditionally loving, best friend kind who accepts her children as-is.
Christmas 1999, our first in sunny Arizona

Christmas 1999, our first in sunny Arizona

Zoe, age 3, eating "snow"

Zoe, age 3, eating "snow"

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Month Day
Topics: Arizona, Tucson, Unschooling, Wright on Time, books, education, empowerment, homeschooling, interview, mindful parenting, photographs, television, video

Our interview with KGUN9 about Radical Unschooling

On Friday, July 16th, Jennifer Waddell and her cameraman Jimmy came to my family’s house to interview us about our Radical Unschooling lifestyle. Since it’s been asked: Opening our home to the interview was a big decision that my family made together. If even one of us had decided not to, the answer would have been no. So long as Unschooling is accurately portrayed, we’re happy to see many reports on this pioneering lifestyle.

Bentley Family with KGUN9

Bentley Family with Jennifer Waddell & Jimmy from KGUN9, July 2010

The report aired on July 22, 2010, on the 10PM local Tucson news. The four and a half minute long report can be viewed here.

Due to popular demand, here are my family’s impressions:

Overall, we’re quite happy with the report. Our family was portrayed accurately and for the very short amount of time we were shown, everything we said was taken in context and used appropriately.

Lisa: “It was a very positive and fun experience. Jennifer and her cameraman were both very nice, answered all of our questions (Zoë had a lot of questions for the cameraman, and I had a lot for Jennifer), and treated my family and house with great respect. As a longterm unschooling advocate, I enjoyed being given the opportunity to introduce people to this hands-on and interactive type of homeschooling.”

Zoë: “It was a bit overwhelming having them at our house for slightly longer than I was expecting, but it was also really exciting. I was surprised at some of the clips that were used, like the one of me walking to my room. While the questions were expected, I was surprised that I was asked some of them instead of my parents. I was happy to show off my rocks and Exogeology ROCKS! website, and it was great to be referred to as a “blogger for NASA“. It was so exciting to see that I actually recognized all of the video transitions that were made during the final report, as they are transitions that I’ve been using in my own video creations. It was fun to learn that they do their editing just like I do mine.”

Teagan: “It was so awesome! I really liked seeing myself on television!” [Teagan is hoping to have fellow Rubik's cubers send her videos of themselves doing the Rubik's cube while doing other things--jumping on a pogo stick, swimming, dancing, singing, sitting on a Sit 'n Spin, etc.] “I also loved sending Jennifer Waddell a favicon for the KGUN9 website.” [Be sure to check out Teagan's favicon creation business.]

Greg: “I am very pleased at how positively unschooling was shown.  You never know for certain which clips will be used or what will be emphasized, so I was happy to see that they showed an accurate picture.  It’s good to have a story to balance out peoples’ misconceptions of unschooling parents as being lazy or naive.”

Three quick (and minor) clarifications to the report:

  1. Unschooling is homeschooling. “Homeschooling guidelines” do not exist; Unschooling is just a specific type of homeschooling which is legal in all 50 U.S. states. There are hundreds of types of homeschooling methods. Those include, but are certainly not limited to: Charlotte Mason, Eclectic (a mixture of several), Distance learning (including virtual academies), Classical, Montessori, Waldorf, Thomas Jefferson, Enki, various religious types, Unit Studies (very similar to unschooling except the parents do the choosing), and Unschooling (an interest-led form of learning, where the children’s interests are top priority).
  2. Getting into college is often found to be even simpler than reported. I’m certain the standard answer is that all homeschoolers need a portfolio and SAT/ACT scores, but our experience (and those of hundreds of unschoolers and homeschoolers that we personally know) shows that this is not the case 100% of the time. If nothing else, getting into a community college is much simpler. Many homeschoolers choose to do this during their early teens, and then easily (with very minimal paperwork) transfer to four year institutions after a year or two–often still much earlier than age 18. There are no special requirements for homeschoolers that all new college students do not have to provide. We’ve also found that many colleges seek out homeschoolers and unschoolers since they are very knowledge-driven individuals.
  3. There are plenty of resources for unschoolers (we consider everything in life a resource); they just don’t focus on unschoolers.  In particular, there are lots of children’s novels but they don’t usually have homeschooling (let alone unschooling) characters. Since this disappointed my children, and all the homeschoolers and unschoolers we personally know, I wrote my Wright on Time series of children’s chapter books and started my own publishing company, Do Life Right, Inc.

Thanks to KGUN9 for giving Unschooling an accurate and unbiased representation!

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Month Day
Topics: 20 Questions, Unschooling, education, empowerment, homeschooling, mindful parenting, photographs, relationships

Answering Questions About Unschooling

My family was recently interviewed about our unschooling lifestyle. While I didn’t answer all the questions exactly like I do below, nor were the same questions asked, I thought you might enjoy reading some answers to questions that have been asked of me and my family lately.

Bentley Family June 2010

Q: What is Unschooling?

A: Unschooling is a type of homeschooling which focuses on children’s unique learning styles and individual interests. It’s all encompassing and allows children to truly learn, rather than temporarily memorize facts given to them. Unschoolers live in a stimulating and enriching environment with lots of parental support for the kids to pursue their individual interests and passions.

Q: What is Radical Unschooling?

A: Radical Unschooling takes unschooling beyond just the educational, into all aspects of parenting and living as a family. Rather than the parents telling children what to do and how to do it, Radical Unschoolers discover and discuss life and family goals together, including when the best time to sleep is, what foods are healthy to eat, what needs to be done around the house, etc. The family works cohesively as a team, rather than top-down mainstream parenting. Each member of the family is an equal member.

Q: Is Unschooling a realistic alternative to public school?

A: Although all children can learn and flourish in an unschooling environment, it isn’t a realistic lifestyle for all families. Unschooling requires parents who are very committed and actively aware of all that is needed in order to provide the necessary enriched environment. The parents also need to have the time and energy to help their children pursue their interests, dreams, goals, and passions. Not all parents can do this, nor want to do this. Unschooling is extremely hands-on parenting and can only work when the entire family is fully committed to it.

Q: What are the disadvantages of Unschooling?

A: Unschooling requires a large time commitment from the parents that not all parents are willing or able to give (unschooling is the most hands-on type of parenting there is). Most unschooling families find that, at least while the children are little, at least one parent needs to become a stay-at-home parent. Some parents accomplish this by alternating schedules or having both parents go part-time. This could be a financial issue for many families. While there are many single-parent unschooling families, it’s often more difficult due to financial reasons.

Unschooling can also be difficult for some parents as it requires that they challenge their beliefs on how people learn, and what educating and real education look like.

In my family’s homeschooling/unschooling endeavors, we’ve also discovered that there is a huge lack of children’s and young adult (YA) books about homeschoolers and unschoolers. Nearly every homeschooled person I’ve met (I’ve met thousands) has told me this when I’ve asked. For my proactive family, we took this as an opportunity rather than a disadvantage: I’ve written a series of children’s chapter books, Wright on Time books, about a roadschooling (homeschooling on the road) family who lives in an RV and travels the USA. Each book is set in a different state with a different and fun educational theme. I’ve started my own publishing company, Do Life Right, Inc., that is actively seeking submissions for other like-minded children’s and YA books about realistic homeschoolers.

Q: What are the advantages of Unschooling?

A: Almost too many to name! :)

Living an unschooling lifestyle makes our family a team that works together. Our relationships are amazing! We don’t have adversarial issues that top-down parenting often has. Children who live in this freedom don’t need to lie, sneak, or “get away” with things, as they are allowed to pursue anything they are interested in.

For my family, the intellectual advantages are amazing. Their knowledge bases are quite diverse and deep. I’ve yet to meet an unschooler who wasn’t an expert at something phenomenal. It’s amazing how much a person can accomplish when they are given the time and resources to pursue their interests.

Q: How, specifically, does unschooling work in my family?

A: Since unschooling looks completely different for all families and for all people, and since everyone learns differently, has different passions, and interests, I’ve listed how unschooling works for each of my children individually.

Zoë, age 13: Her current passions include geology and astronomy (specifically exogeology), Jeopardy! (specifically working for the Clue Crew some day), Girl Scouts, a variety of art projects, movie making, and writing. She recently won 2nd place in the USA Today/NASA ”No Boundaries” competition. In addition to a $1000 cash prize, she was asked to make a presentation at JPL in Pasadena, and invited on a VIP tour of the facility. She has also written two articles for NASA websites (here’s a link to the first), and has plans to write more, as well as continue her Exogeology ROCKS! project by going to all of the NASA facilities around the USA. She’ll be interviewing more NASA employees (including two she interviewed at JPL, and Astronaut Mark Kelly who she interviewed over the 4th of July weekend), making videos of the interviews, and much more. We are going to Alabama in November, Ohio next May, and probably one or two other locations in between those two.

In addition to this, she is working on her Girl Scout Silver Award: a Greek gathering (Percy Jackson themed) event for Cadette and older Girl Scouts. She also makes jewelry where the proceeds are given to various animal rescue organizations, works as an assistant to my own creative writing classes, takes college classes, loves to cook and create new recipes, and manages to keep a very active social life.

Zoe Bentley, age 13

Be sure to follow Zoë on Facebook and twitter to find out more about her Exogeology ROCKS! project.

Teagan, age 9: Her current passions include running her own business, Teagan’s Creations, which creates favicons for other websites. She’s planning to expand into other creations as well. In that, she is learning basic accounting, time management, business correspondence skills, programming, and much more. She also spends her time in ballet classes (including an award winning performing team), Girl Scouts, writing books, learning algebra just because it’s fun, perfecting her Rubik’s cube and hula hooping at the same time skills, reading, doing arts and crafts (a lot of 3D tape constructions, sewing, and abstract art drawing), playing imaginative games and board games, and computer programming.

Teagan, age 9

Be sure to follow Teagan on twitter to hear about exciting and fun things she likes to tweet about.

Our family as a whole: A big part of unschooling in my family, in addition to us parents following our children’s leads, is that we include them in our jobs and interests. It is because of my children that I wrote my Wright on Time series of children’s chapter books. The books take an unschooling family on a trip around the USA. Each book takes the fictional Wright family to a different state, learning a different educational topic. These are topics and states that my own family has researched, discussed in great depth, and then decided together what would be the most fun for the fictional family to pursue. Through the researching, writing process, and creation of my own publishing company (including raising venture capital), my children have learned a lot of skills, including: literacy issues, publishing, marketing, business finance, travel skills, photography (including studio photography), and much more. My older daughter was able to take the presentation skills that we gained, and use it in her presentation to NASA in June. The skills that I’ve learned, my kids have also learned–we’ve been a TEAM, doing this together.

Both of our daughters understand what my husband and I do for a living, family finances, how to run a household (shopping, upkeep, yard work, bills, etc.), and what it’s like to be a functional grown-up in our current society. These are very important skills that are naturally learned when parents include their children in their lives.

The biggest part that I want to emphasize here is that parents need not already know how to do everything the children want to do. We have infinite resources available to us. Within seconds I’m able to look up information online. I can also consult books, movies, and people. Every single professional we have approached with questions has been more than willing to answer our questions. People love sharing their knowledge with those who are genuinely interested in what they know. Never underestimate this!

Q: What is a typical day like for my family?

A: Every day is different in our family, and every Unschooling family lives differently, according to the family members’ interests and needs. For us, now that my children are older, we spend a lot of time on our computers doing a variety of projects from: researching, reading, writing, programming, developing ideas, art, and more. When we are home, we go for a lot of walks around our 10 acres, enjoying the scenery, animals, and conversations that always ensue.

We also have a lot of outside-the-home activities which include group tours and events with other homeschooling families, ballet lessons, Girl Scouts, creative writing classes that I teach, as well as regular errands such as grocery shopping that we include our children on, as well as daytrips and tours we go on for just us. We also travel a lot (we’ve been to 30 US states and 7 countries so far, with plans to go to the other 20 states within the next 4 years), and our kids are actively involved in all aspects of this.

Want to know what Unschooling looks like in other families? Check out my series of “20 Questions for Unschoolers“.

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Month Day
Topics: food, lowfat, vegan, vegetarian

Margarine is NOT necessarily vegan

As a vegan, I’m often told, “I used margarine to make this, so it’s vegan,” in reference to certain bakery items friends make.

While I always appreciate the gesture, I don’t always eat it. I only eat the items if the person used vegan margarine.

How is margarine not vegan?  Several scary ways:

  1. The government requires that all margarine products be supplemented with Vitamin A.  The source of the vitamin is usually fish since it’s a cheaper form of vitamin A.
  2. There are often trace amounts of dairy, whey, or casein.  While this might not seem like a big deal to a non-vegan, it’s a huge deal to those like me with severe dairy allergies.  I’ve been known to get extremely ill from one bite of contaminated food. Don’t risk your vegan friends’ health by potentially giving them contaminated foods. You might not know why they are vegan (it might not be for the reasons you think).
  3. Okay, so this point isn’t about veganism…  But, most margarines are extremely unhealthy.  They contain transfats–you know, the ones that cause cancer and heart disease, etc. Margarine does not equal healthy. Fats are not health foods.

If you must have fat in your food (I cook without added fats for the most part, and we never keep oil in our house), be sure to use olive oil or Earth Balance vegan spread.

Think oils are necessary for good health?  Try reading this (and the whole site it’s on). Besides, vegetarians (who don’t eat fish oils) are happier than non-vegetarians anyway… ;)

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Month Day
Topics: Unschooling, education, empowerment, homeschooling

You might call it obsessed, I call it PASSIONATE

The great thing about living an unschooling lifestyle is that we come to truly appreciate our children’s (and our own) passions. My daughters have never been required by myself, my husband, or anyone else, to learn things on a particular timeline or schedule. We’ve never given them tests, quizzed them on their knowledge, or sat them down to teach them information against their will.

Everything that they’ve done in life has been a choice.

Sound scary??? I certainly would have thought so before I had kids, but it’s quite the opposite. It’s empowering for us all. So, what do we do?

What we have done is quite an amazing thing. From the moment my daughters were born, I spent hours watching their eyes wander around the room. When they fixed upon something, I took them nearer to what interested them (or I brought the objects to them). I talked about objects, moved them, helped them touch items, etc. If they lost interest, we went on to something else. As they grew into toddlers, I followed them and did the same thing. I gave them more of what they liked. If it was stickers, I bought thousands. If it was bats, I borrowed books, found movies, gathered stuffed animals, and researched websites on the subject. I filled our home with interesting toys, art supplies, foods, bath toys, books, movies, and more. When my kids showed a preference toward something, I got more of it.

As they’ve aged, my conversations with my daughters have given me more insight into their interests and dreams rather than a stretch of their arms and a gleam in their eyes when they were infants (although I still watch for that glimmer since it’s a very reliable way they show me what they love–plus seeing it always makes me smile).

I’ve recently heard parents lamenting about their children’s obsessions. As I’ve listened, I’ve become saddened that they believe their children are lacking well-roundedness due to their intense interests. What they don’t realize is that people learn best through total immersion. I do, my husband does, my children do. While unhealthy obsessions certainly exist, they don’t in unschoolers. They just don’t, it’s not possible for this to happen with the unschooling lifestyle.

Every unschooler I’ve ever met is shockingly bright and passionate, and that can appear on the outside to look like obsession. Have you ever met a brilliant scientist or a concert pianist who wasn’t passionate about their career? I wouldn’t call it obsessed at all. It’s passion at its finest and purest–just like that in a whole life learner/unschooler/autodidact/life long learner. Try it sometime, or at least allow your children to, and you just might find pure brilliance. When you, the parent, become a student of your child, all doors are opened. I’m a first-hand witness to this brilliance.

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Month Day
Topics: censorship, empowerment, relationships, words

#Facebook and the Different Sides of Me

We all have split personalities — we’re one person with our best friends, and another person in the boardroom.  Yet, I believe that we really ought to be the same person in all situations, just discussing pertinent information (and parts of us) depending on the situation.

This can be seen in full force on Facebook (and Twitter and other social networking sites).  There, side-by-side, you have your best friends (and sometimes worst enemies) from every age of your life right next to your children and grandparents and everyone in between.  It’s nice to be able to catch up with these people, but I’m seeing people who post things that some day they are certain to regret.  I mean, really: Do you want your child to look on your page 5 years from now and read about how you couldn’t stand him so you spanked him and then got drunk? (This scenario is fictional, but I’ve read much worse.)  If you don’t want your Mom to read it, don’t post it–EVER.  If you don’t want your Grandpa to read a particular quiz result, then assume your future grandchildren won’t want to read it either.  Don’t tweet about your intimate relationships and drunken stupors.  Your desired future boss just might read those, too…  If you really must write about such fun antics, get a pen name.  Remember too that you can also remove other peoples’ postings from your wall or untag yourself from their pictures if they do something you don’t approve of.

Of course there are things you’ll always want to discuss with your best friends that you’d never bring up at church functions.  This is fine, just be sure your public statuses are G or at least PG-rated.  You’ll thank me later (or at least your kids will).

While you’re considering who your authentic self is, have a look at these funny Facebook sites and videos:

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Month Day
Topics: empowerment, words

“No offense intended…”

I was recently sitting in a meeting where the person in charge began her statement with, “Not to offend anyone’s opinions, but…” and she went on to cruelly criticize anyone who had a differing opinion than herself.

It just so happened that the whole room of people (except me) had the same opinion as her, so she was using that preface as a way of making herself sound noble.

It didn’t work.

Whenever someone starts off with, “No offense intended…” they are usually about to say something incredibly offensive.  Consider that next time you start to say it.  Can you say your remark in a constructive way? Assume the person wants your help.  Often how you say things is more important than the words you say.

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Month Day
Topics: Unschooling, empowerment, homeschooling, mindful parenting, relationships, words

Rules vs. Principles

I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them. If I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. — Robert Heinlein

In a conversation about rules and principles in a family life, I found myself fortunate enough to be able to discuss my family and how we live. Doesn’t sound weird so far, right? :)

You see, my family lives in a household with no rules.

I’ve found that saying this straight out often freaks people out. They assume we live in chaos, with garbage everywhere, people screaming and yelling, candy wrappers on the floor, dirty dishes strewn about, kids refusing to help, and pure disgustingness everywhere.  Nothing could be further from the truth in my household.

You see, when we gave up random rules that had been dictated by others, we replaced them with principles.

What does this mean? My family, each and every one of us, lives by our own individual principles. We respect each other, we love our house and keep it clean, we cherish our possessions and we pick them up, we enjoy wearing clean clothes and eating off of clean dishes so we keep up on them, and we enjoy peace so we act peacefully.

When being nice is a choice, who wouldn’t choose it most of the time? When being honest is a choice, and honesty is the way life is, who would lie? When anger doesn’t come from parents, what kid would deliberately attempt to make a parent angry. When there isn’t an “us vs. them” mentality in the household with parents against the children, there is no reason for the kids to rebel.

In my household, we are a team. We work together to accomplish all of our life dreams and goals. We live by our own principles and we are thriving. Rules are something that others are forcing you to do (and you’ll not do if you don’t have to). Principles are guiding values that you’ll never abandon–ever.

Which would you want your children to follow once they are out on their own???

To read more about rules and principles in an unschooling family, see these sites:

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Month Day
Topics: Unschooling, computer, education, empowerment, favorites, homeschooling, mindful parenting, relationships, television, top ten

Top 10: Essentials for Homeschooling Successfully

I was recently asked in a round about way what items I felt were essential for homeschooling success.

This is the IN ORDER list of tangible purchases my family couldn’t live without in 2010 and still be a successful homeschooling family:

  1. High speed internet and at least one household computer that all members of the family are equally entitled to use–each member of my family has their own computer, plus we have several more. This is vital for researching, and much more!
  2. Organization products–shelving, baskets, bins, and more.  Homeschoolers tend to own many supplies for their kids, so keeping track of them all in an easy to find (and organized) way is essential. We have several walls and closets with floor to ceiling shelving, yet it’s barely enough. All the successful homeschooling families we know have similar layouts.
  3. Seemingly endless supply of consumables–paper, pens, pencils, markers, glue, tape, wire, stickers, etc. I’d also put white board (or chalk board or other type of LARGE writing surface) in this category since we use ours nearly daily for working out problems, making lists, and drawing pictures. What else could we write on to have the whole family participate in a group discussion?
  4. Television with access to lots of channels and shows–so much can be learned from good television. I’ve never met a homeschooler who watched too much television.  We also like online television shows, shows on DVD, and Netflix instant access abilities.  I cannot comprehend how in the world I would have been able to share knowledge about certain things without a television. Shows such as The Universe, NOVA, Life, Planet Earth, just to name a few, couldn’t be matched with only a book or a website.
  5. DVR–We homeschoolers want to watch things when we want to watch them, not when television channels say we should.  [Yes, television can be extremely educational!]  Every single person in my family has learned things from television that we could have never learned elsewhere without a lot of traveling, time, and expense. I currently can’t afford a trip to Mars for my daughters, yet television has taken us there and further. Perhaps I’ll spring for a rocketship next year…
  6. Audible.com subscription combined with a library card.  We can now download audio books quickly and easily from both of these sources whatever time of day we want or need new content to listen to. iPods or other MP3 players are nice to have, also, in order to make these files portable.
  7. Games, games, and more games. We have so many games, they fill a wall of our house (which we’ve now named “The Library”).  Until last year, we didn’t have any handheld game systems or a Wii.  We have both now and my kids play sports on the Wii nearly every day.
  8. Books, books, and more books. We regularly get rid of books we don’t like.  Even still, we have thousands of books here.  While we love the library, we love owning our own books, too, especially ones we know will be read many times. We also all write fiction and non-fiction, so having a large supply of examples is great. :)
  9. Tools–we’re always in the middle of building something, be it a wall, a path, a picture frame.  We have hammers and pliers and many more complicated tools which our kids have access to.  While neither has used a circular saw, they are both welcome to as soon as they want.  We’d be happy to help them through the whole process safely.  They’ve both seen us use tools so often that many haven’t needed to be explained. My younger daughter’s recent favorite tool is a hair brush; she’s learned to do some amazing things with it. :)
  10. Good food–seems like a silly thing to add to this list, but food has been a huge source of growth and learning in my family.  We’re always checking out new recipes, new restaurants, and new foods we’ve never tried.  My kids especially enjoy searching for fruits they’ve never had (we haven’t found any new ones at the grocery stores around us for a while, but we almost always look).  My older daughter, especially, could spend hours reading labels at the grocery store quite frequently. Plus, I believe that healthy food choices are vital to healthy brain and body growth.

This is the IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER list of intangible items my family couldn’t live without in 2010 and still be a successful homeschooling family (all are requirements for my husband and I, my kids have never needed such a list since they seem to know these things intuitively):

  1. Respect for the children
  2. Joy
  3. Appreciation
  4. Love and admiration
  5. Humor
  6. Friends and family
  7. Parental desire to actively work on being better parents at all times
  8. Patience and ability to listen
  9. Desire to explore, learn, and grow
  10. Ability to see the big picture

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